This is an interesting spot in the book. The main characters expose themselves here, not just literally. I think this is where Caninus took on a real depth and where I realized how complex, warped and strangely honor bound Lucifel is. I think it was probably the third or fourth time I tried writing this section before I realized that I'd screwed up by making Lucifel do something she wouldn't. When I fixed it, they flowed back into place and the writing continued at its rapid-fire pace. I'll mention it more in the next chapter. No spoilers. :)

***

We couldn’t avoid each other forever, of course. I was in his house and he would have to come down sooner or later to greet his guests. At the time, I didn’t give a damn how, but I needed away from him. “Everything alright?” Derek asked, raising an eyebrow as I came back down the stairs.

Thankfully, the need to prevent inbreeding made us immune to family’s pheromones. Derek was distant enough to know that there was something wrong, but close enough not to know what.

“Everything’s fine,” I said with a false smile. “I’m just stressed. Ready to go home.”

“Merula’s crashing here with us,” Elris said softly, his voice as supportive as he could make it. “She wants to double check the wards here and reinforce them.”

“Caninus should be back soon with Fanin,” I said with a brightness diminished by my exhaustion. “He’ll take me home. Strass is…busy upstairs, last I knew.”

“Don’t worry so much, nia,” he sighed, calling me by the Elven word for niece. “Here’s what I see. We’ll do okay. That sect thinks that we’re dead or scared out of our wits.”

“You should be,” I replied as candidly as I could. “You almost were dead.” I didn’t add that the only reason they’d survived was because I’d somehow crafted the most impossible alliance of all time, traveled through the realm of the dead and come out unscathed. More or less, if you ignore the throbbing in my calf, the long gash on my left shoulder, the dozens of scratches on my arms and the myriad of bruises that gravitated to my knees and elbows.

“I didn’t say we weren’t scared. Anyway, we’ll be safer here. And you’ll go home, get some sleep and be ready to do whatever tomorrow.” He didn’t say I was going to work for vampires. He didn’t need to. “Nothing you do would be shameful, as far as I’m concerned, if you consider it necessary. Now, that nice young vampire is going to come back and take you home. And you’ll take care.”

I smiled at him. “So strange to hear you sound trusting of a vampire.”

“They can’t all be bad,” he shrugged with a smile. “It doesn’t make sense. And besides,” he stepped closer to keep everyone else from hearing. “Nia, I think he’s sweet on you.”

I sputtered. “What? Uncle Elris, I think you may need to consider that you need rest. A lot of rest.” The same shamanic blood that gives me my abilities has been known to give him the ability to see, unpredictably, slices of the future. But that doesn’t mean that he’s the best judge of character.

“Probably,” he agreed. “And in the morning, it will seem ridiculous.” He kissed me on the forehead. “I hear his bike outside. How are you going to get Foyl home with you?”

“I figured I’d fly,” Foyl quipped. “Riding a motorcycle doesn’t seem to be anything I’d be good at.”

I smiled at him, “No, I doubt it. You could stay here and strengthen wards with Merula if you wanted to.” He made a face—honestly, a childish little face. “No, thank you greatly. I have no desire to do that here or with her. Let’s go home; I can repair your wards before I go to bed.”

“Whatever,” I said with a smile, slipping out the door as Caninus killed the engine.

“Hey, Lucifel,” Fanin grinned widely. “What’s going on?”

“Everyone else is staying here tonight,” I said, explaining it to both of them. “Caninus, I don’t suppose you’d make me call a cab this time of night? The tip would have to be massive and I don’t have any fifties on me.”

He laughed, rumbling from deep within his chest. “No, I’d gladly take you home. Besides, we’ve still got some things to discuss, I believe.”

“Indeed,” I agreed pleasantly. In truth, I’d almost hoped he’d forget. Fanin leapt off the bike and presented me gallantly with the helmet. I laughed, and took it from him. “I’ll be by tomorrow to check up on you guys, alright? You’ll be good—Merula was…she’s my bodyguard I guess, so you should be perfectly safe.”

“She’s your bodyguard? You needed a body guard?” His serious streak gave out to his dark sense of humor. “This, I have to ask about!” He bounded up the steps and Caninus shook his head in amusement.

“He’s still a kid in a lot of ways, but a smart kid. Hop up; I’ll take you home.”

Most of the trip was pleasant—but every time my arms tightened around Caninus’s waist, I kept remembering what Elris had told me. Before too long, though, we pulled into my neighborhood. And the sky in the east began to lighten. “Fuck,” I heard him say.

“Get to my house,” I told him. He didn’t argue, but he did speed up. Specifically, he was doing sixty in a thirty-five. I was sure he was going to get busted—if he did, I was ready to tell the cop it was a daylight restriction and he was going to fry if we didn’t bust our asses. But no cops showed up.

He pulled his bike in the garage next to my car. I closed the door behind us and led him in the house through the garage door. “Inviting me in for a nightcap?” he laughed to himself, but it was nervous, and his eyes were fixed on the window.

“You wish,” I replied. “My alcohol is mine and mine alone. Come on,” I took his arm and led him up the stairs. He erupted with laughter.

“To your bed so quick, meus angelus? I am so flattered!”

“Oh shut up,” I said, pulling him into the room and snapping the door shut behind us. “My bedroom doesn’t have any windows. So you’re safe here while we talk.” All that was there was a chest of drawers, with TV on top, and my bed. We sat down, facing each other, on my king sized bed. “We do need to talk,” he said softly, adjusting his shirt to open more easily at his neck. “Or we did. But I don’t think so much now as before.”

“What do you mean?” I was utterly surprised by this—we had tons to discuss. How to go about attacking Antoinette, protecting Alayna, and killing vampires and werewolves, and a possible alliance between werewolves and vampires that could threaten the world as we knew it. Trust me, we had a shit load to talk about.

“I wanted to try to talk to you about trusting me. I know that Antoinette will eventually order me to hurt you or do something to hurt Alayna. I know she will because I don’t want to. I can’t say that I will be able to rebuff her for long. But if it comes to it, you want me to be the one hurting either of you. It sounds awful, but I take no pleasure in causing pain. I’d make it as painless as I could and as quick, if I capitulated at all to Antoinette.” He shook his head violently, with a sigh. “This is coming out all wrong. I don’t want to hurt you. I won’t hurt you. For your good, you need to trust me not to be working in earnest for Antoinette, especially when…if…she orders me to do something to harm you. You need to trust me at least that far.”

“I do,” I said softly. “You more or less proved that tonight. We’ve got other shit we need to focus on too,” I sighed. “Tons of it.”

He smiled at me fondly. “Angelus, if you planned on killing me while I slept, thank you for making me happy before you did so.”

It slipped out before I could catch it. “I make you happy?”

He smiled wider and reached out to brush my hair. “Oh, yes. You’re a challenge, and a friend and so very smart. You make me quite happy.” An odd look clouded his face as his skin touched mine. “Something is odd.”

“What do you mean?” My heart was thudding in my chest. What the hell was he getting at?

“It was Strass, wasn’t it? You’re flooded with desire right now, and I do not think it is I who has caused it. Or at least, who has caused all of it. I forgot about your race’s hormonal issues.” A tear leaked from my cheek. Hell, my resident vampire knew all about my problems. It doesn’t get much worse. He brushed it away gently. “Ah, my Lucifel. Darling, I would help you if…you would let me.”

“People usually say ‘if I could.’ What are you getting at?” I wanted to snap, but part of me still sounded longing for a solution.

He bit his lip softly. “If you…let me handle this problem for you.” He turned a little red before he barked a laugh. "Angelus, I’ve already offered you the solution once.”

“What the hell…?”

I stopped as he leaned forward and kissed my cheek softly. He whispered in my ear, “Dorme mecum, angelus.”

“That’s your solution? Are you fucking serious?” I pulled away to look him in the eye.

“Yes and no,” he smiled. “You wouldn’t need to sleep with me. Just…let me handle this.”

“I don’t think so,” I snapped, but my voice quivered. He leaned forward and kissed me on the lips, slowly and deliberately. I couldn’t pretend he’d snuck up on me—I knew damn well what he was doing. My hormones betrayed me again, making me long for even this little contact. Or was it something different? Our tongues touched tentatively, gentle. He kissed me very tenderly, very slowly and so gentle I shivered. Lust flooded me and I wanted to keep on kissing him, to run my hands across his chest and…. I shuddered with the longing and fear.

“Lucifel,” he said my name, softly, as he pulled away. My voice came unbidden from my throat, surprising me.

“Caninus,” I whispered in return, my voice thick with desire.

He smiled at me, brightly. “Caninus, not Strass? We’re making some progress. But if you tie that desire solely to me, you won’t have any problems with him anymore.” His hands were around me, meeting in the small of my back. “It’s your choice, darling. Do you want to dare a vampire’s love?”

“Love?” My voice quivered. “Now who said anything about love?”

“Angelus, it’s just an epithet. Do you want me, or do you want me to leave?” His eyes bored into mine, serious.

I shook with uncertainty. “I don’t know,” I admitted finally. “Just…hold me while I sleep?” I didn’t want him to go away. And despite my trust of him, I didn’t want him in my bed that easily.

He smiled, gently rather than mocking. “Of course, Lucifel.” His arms tightened around me and he lowered me to the bed. He managed to drag the blankets over us and wrapped his arms comfortably around me. His head was a full inch above mine, so he pulled my head to his shoulder, where it met his neck. I nuzzled in, comforted by the jasmine smell of him.

It took me a moment before I remembered I was still in my work clothing—armed and all. “Shit. I need to undress.” I half expected a comment about sex again, but he just nodded, letting me go. He didn’t look away, for long, while I undressed. “Courteous,” I said sarcastically.

“Darling, I’m a man. And you are utterly beautiful. What do you want from me? Feigned disinterest?” I barked a laugh at that, but I only stripped to my underwear before slipping into pajamas. He interrupted me as I went to slide back in the bed. “Do you have a robe or something? I don’t really want to sleep in my clothes either.”

It took a little while, but I managed to scrounge up a robe for him to wear. His clothing was bloodied, like mine. “It needs washed,” I sniffed at it. “Get out of it and I’ll run downstairs to wash it.”

“Wash it in the morning,” he advised. “We’re both too tired for that now. Get some sleep first. I’ll wear the robe tonight. It’ll be plenty.” He winked at me as he began to undress and pile his clothes in the hamper. “You can look, since I did.”

“No, thanks. I’ve got some sense of propriety,” I replied as he slid off his shirt. I didn’t turn though—it was just a shirt, I told myself. Nothing dirty yet.

“Lucifel,” he smiled down at me. “Please. You make me feel like a letch. Don’t look away from me.” His eyes held mine as he took off his pants. Reflexively I went to turn away, but his gaze held me. I tunneled my vision on his eyes, wondering why in the hell I hadn’t just rolled over and ignored him. He shrugged into the sleeping robe, tying the sash, before crawling next to me. “Thank you, Lucifel.”

“My pleasure,” I quipped, curling up with his arms securely wrapped around me.

He sighed after a few moments, “Lucifel,” he said very softly. “Vos effrego meus pectus pectoris.”

I took several moments to sort out what he had said—Latin has not been my strongest language, and I made a mental note to get a refresher course on it. After several long moments, I pulled away, confused by his words. “You break my heart,” he had told me.

“Don’t let me,” I said to him softly, pulling away. His eyes fluttered open and I said, “Don’t let me.” Confusion clouded his expression, and I explained, “ ‘Vos effrego meus pectus pectoris.’ You said that. Don’t let me.”

“I try,” he said softly. “But, meus angelus, you are adept at breaking my heart anyway.” I thought of what Elris had said and nodded. “You are worth the heartbreak,” he said, pulling me closer and kissing me again.

His lips were soft, gentle and yet insistent. Our tongues met again, as his hands slid under my pajama shirt. He didn’t feel like he was copping a feel, with his palm lying flat and sliding up the center of my body.

I shoved him away, frightened into violence. “No,” I said to him insistently. He just nodded his acceptance. But it wasn’t enough—that deep desire that had been directed at Strass was now pulling me toward him. It was me I didn’t trust. I flew out of the bed went down to my basement, shaking slightly, as I tried to sleep virtuously alone on the futon.