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Hello, I am YFAT or Lo. I have been writing on Journal Scape for eight years now, working on my ninth. How the time flies! This journal chronicles my random thoughts, high moments and sometimes low, throughout high school, college, and now beyond, into the world of "adulthood", whatever that means.
2010-02-06 12:27 AM
The end of a good week!
Wow it has been a great week back. Holy crow.
I had a pissed off moment or two but those just happen. I get over it (eventually...it might take me a few hours sometimes).
For the most part my classes are really interesting despite the massive amounts of homework I will be do and that they are all Doom and Gloom. 20th Century, Epidemics and Criminology...yeah...People hear my schedule and they just cringe. They also hear the professors and cringe. I will not be doing any fiction reading because I won't have the time to read much else besides my text books (Isn't that a redundant set of words? Text is in books...what would a book be without text? It's like saying chain mail).
I've been having some strange but also empowering dreams since I got back. Jew Matt's ex was essentially letting me drown in one and here I was sinking, freaking out under the pressure and then I remembered I could swim and that the answer was just to breathe and keep breathing and I floated back to the top. The ex ended up harassing me in the dream but when I woke up I was about ready to confront her. No one picks on me when I'm trying to take a pee in the bathroom, kay? (Still, wtf is with the bathrooms in my dreams?!)
Then last night a part of my dream was that I was supposed to get married but I was freaking out because I didn't even know this guy I was supposed to marry. In fact I flat out refused to get out of the car to even see this person (for some strange reason the marriage was to take place at A&W) and everyone was really upset with me. I locked myself in my dorm room and people wrote nasty messages all over my whiteboard. I went to the bathroom and people were harassing me there too, like looking over the stall at me (again, the bathroom). Finally I just decided I would go talk to this guy I was supposed to get married to and explain it to him. I was like "I'm afraid of commitment. I have never wanted to be married. I don't even know you and if you love me you will be content with it." Turns out the guy was really nice and completely understood and was cool with it. I woke up with the feeling of arms around me and had warm happy fuzzy feelings in the most complete way I have ever felt. By taking charge and just confronting the issue it resolved itself.
Pretty good omens I'd say.
Jew Matt and I are cool now. He is mostly successful in resisting the powers of Evil Bitch from Hell ex-girlfriend. Last night and I prowled the building looking for a good space to have our Nerf fight. I scared the crap out of him when I shot a dart past his head and it ricocheted off the wall. His face was a very entertaining sight. Then we encountered some drunk friends and exchanged "Ho shit, they are really trashed" expressions and didn't hang around too long. Going back upstairs my nose collided with the worst smell ever which was something along the lines of fecal matter, vomit and athletic sweat. It was about the fifth time that day I had run into a really nasty smell (previous smells being: portapotty, cologne overload, massively disgusting mysterious poop smell, etc). Ugh.
Ooooh I worked in the library too. Always good to be back there. I love it so much. That is my true home.
This morning was specialrific because Tall Matt completely surprised me by sitting with me at breakfast. He kind of just apparated in front of me. Conversation was good. He got me to confess I am no longer stalking him which was pretty funny. He noted that I wasn't actually eating my breakfast and I made the excuse of not being able to eat when a person is watching me (the truth being that I am too nervous-in-a-good-way around him to eat in front of him). He was like "So if I stare at you like this" -pulls a crazy facial expression- "you won't eat?" "If you stare at me like that I will make you Bagel and Cream Cheese Face Man." "Worst super hero ever." I also completely misheard his telling me about watching corny videos in First Aid class. Brain was like "Oh god, it's far too early to have awkward pervy associations at this hour!" We went on to discuss pets and others things. I laughed a lot and he even smiled genuinely.
I realize I am getting really good at reading his facial expressions, a jump from Freshman year when Vicci had to translate for me ("Matt's speaking Eyebrow again! I DON'T UNDERSTAND!").
It was a good morning and set me in a "I'm almost too happy to function" mood for the rest of the day.
There is hope yet....at least for a better friendship if anything. o.O
To end it campus had an event tonight was that was good fun. A club I am in ran what I can only call: Competitive Packaged Condom Toss station. There was a vase on a chair and standing from a line people had to attempt to toss a packaged condom in. It ended up being very intense! People were no longer shooting to get some free safe-sex...no, it became like Get-It-In-Or-Die. Only ten condoms made it in in total. Ridiculously entertaining seeing the attempts. We even got the deans of the college to try, haha.
In summary it has been great being back with my friends and in the academic mode. I feel super dupa positive even with my Doom and Gloom schedule.
And now I must sleep for tomorrow is reading time, as well as mini-Nerf gun war time and that good stuff.
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