Brainsalad
The frightening consequences of electroshock therapy

I'm a middle aged government attorney living in a rural section of the northeast U.S. I'm unmarried and come from a very large family. When not preoccupied with family and my job, I read enormous amounts, toy with evolutionary theory, and scratch various parts on my body.

This journal is filled with an enormous number of half-truths and outright lies, including this sentence.

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Strangely amazing wonderful facts about my body

Today's strangely amazing wonderful facts about my body are:

My head is at least a quarter of an inch longer than any of my brothers. All of us wear glasses and everyone else's glasses are shorter than mine.

One of my eyes has much worse vision than the other. I don't remember what the difference is, but on my glasses the lens on the right eye is at least twice as thick as the lens on the left eye. Incidently, there appears to be a very stereotypical nerd relationship between bad vision and higher intelligence in my family. The ones with the worst vision have done the best academically, and the ones with the best vision do the worst academically. One of my eyes is very bad, and the other is not so bad, and not surprisingly I'm in the middle academically.

I was born with very blond hair that slowly darkened as I aged. Most of the change was over by adolesence, but it continued to get subtly darker for a few years even after I became an adult. I explained this to a friend from China, and he was amazed. He had never heard that Caucasian's hair color would change over time. Both of my parents were the same way, and if I follow their pattern, I will not start turning grey until I am about 60.

I have an odd belly button. It is sort of like an innie, but it has this tiny nubbin in it. Must have been something strange about where they cut the umbilical cord. 10 of my siblings are innies, and my brother 6 of 12 is an outie. 6 of 12 is darker skinned than the rest of us and has very curly hair. I used to think he was part black, and I associate outies with black people.

The fourth toe on both of my feet is very short. It doesn't even touch the ground. When I walk on sand I only leave four toed foot prints. It's a bit gross looking, and I'm a tad self conscious about it.

I have small hands for my size and short arms. I've sometimes wondered how human dwarves manage to wipe their butts. Their arms don't look long enough. Must be a pain.

This concludes today's strangely amazing wonderful facts about my body.


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