25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP

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1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. No plants.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. I have a twin bed

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. When there is anything in there it is usually wine coolers or beer, but most of the time there is nothing in there.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. Except for brief periods in college and law school this has always been in the case

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. I have yet to hear "Comfortably Numb" in an elevator, but it would definitely the right place for it.

6. You watch the Weather Channel. Too boring. No cable.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up." Actually, some of my friends talk about their kids marrying and divorcing

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. Actually, I get 25 days but close enough

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." I hesitated on this one, but yeah this is true.

10. You're the one calling the police because those #@!.. kids next door won't turn down the stereo. Nah. But then I live in the country.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. I think so.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. Last time I did late night Taco Bell was last year I think, but I'm not sure.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. Well, my insurance has gone down, but I still have yet to take out a car loan

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's
leftovers. I just buy the cat whatever is cheap. If he doesn't like it, he can eat a mouse.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. I usually sleep on the couch.

16. You take naps. Nope

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. Nope

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset rather than settle, your stomach. Nope

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not
condoms and pregnancy tests. Not true

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit." Never been a wine drinker.

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. Not for years

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again." I've always been able to hold my liquor. I don't drink very often at all, but I haven't noticed any difference in my tolerance. Maybe that's just because I don't drink very often though

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. Definitely not.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. This gets a no, but it's a lame no, beecause I've never really been a bar person.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit, what the hell happened?" That's been true for a very long time

Bonus:

26. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry ass. Well my pleasure that so few apply is a definite sign of age, but only 8 out of 25 apply.

Yeah! I'm only 1/3 grown up! At this rate, I'll be a mature adult when I'm 120! Yeah me! I'm still immature!