I swear, I cannot make up shit this funny...

An example: I went to the coffee shop that is near my church this afternoon. I needed some beans, WG needed a $5 dish of ice cream as a "reward" for helping me with VBS, and the two places are right next to each other.

Now, this is not your $uper Famou$ coffee place that you find on every corner, but a local place that 1)roasts on the premises and 2) sells organic, shade-grown Fair Trade. (Yeah I'm a coffe snob. So sue me.) With every pound of beans you buy, you can get a comped drink up to the price of a small latte. I asked for an iced coffee. (It's about 100 degrees here with heat index factored in).

Coffee Girl looks at me and says, "I'm sorry?--we're not allowed to sell iced coffee? It, like, changes the flavor of the coffee, or something, like, when the ice melts?"

I reply, "Are you serious?"

CG:"Yeah."

Me: "It's about 100 degrees outside. But you are not allowed to sell iced coffee. Is this store policy?"

CG "Yeah."

Me:"Can you sell me a medium coffee and give me a cup of ice on the side?"

CG: "Um, I guess so?"

Me: "Only don't give me the extra cup, but put the ice directly into the coffee."

CG: "Um, okay. I guess so?"

Sometimes you just gotta know how to word things.