Perhaps having male mentors would make me not very popular in feminist groups--I don't know. (Maybe that supposition is full of crap. I leave room for that.) I do know that I have had male friends my whole life--sometimes they have outnumbered my female friends. I also know that I wouldn't be very happy in a world that was made up of only women--a gender-segregated religious community, for example.

And so I wonder about these women whom I care about who might want/need something a little different from their pastor. I watched this friend/mentor/teacher of mine who I worked along side while I was a student. I saw the women lining up each week after worship to get their hugs from "Rev. Erudite Q. Captivating" which he really was, in the best and most genuine, authentic of ways. And I knew, from knowing some of their stories, that for some of them the best and most satisfying human contact they got all week came from that brief public (completely appropriate) hug at the church door.

And I can suppose that such satisfaction does not come from hugging another female, half to two-thirds their age, no matter how warm and caring she is. It's just not the same thing, is it? (There, I said it.)

In a vain attmept to make up for the "missing" chromosome, I try to always have men fill the pulpit for me when I am gone--so there is a multiplicity of voices that are being heard in worship. I beg men to be liturgists here at St. Stoic. Only one or two so far have done so.

So I keep trying to find ways to have meaningful relationships with these women, hoping that eventually they will warm up to me, and help me to become what they are looking for in a pastor, X chromosomes and all.