It has been raining for three days. It's not cold, just gray and wet, very wet. I miss the sunshine.

It's days like this that I don't feel like a very functional depressive regardless of what my doctor says. Sometimes I miss my anti-depressants.

And yet I was thrillwhen hte doctor told me I didn't need them. And most of the time that's true. Okay, it's always true; I can handle this. I just don't want to whcih is not a great feeling.

I mean really I know what's behind all this and the weather is only part of it. The semester is over, and yes, that's something I should be happy about. However, I'm one of those people that tends to need to be busy. And now I'm not. At this moment there is nothing I HAVE to do. I think that scares me.

Well, in a few weeks (22 days, I think) there will be Clarion to occupy my thoughts, and before that the trip to Pat's.

And I may be going to Plattsburgh for a few days. My godfather, Stu, passed away recently and I may be going to his memorial service. It really depends on when it is; it is either tomorrow, in which case there is no way I can get there in time, or Monday. I'm waiting for my mom to call with the details. I'm not sure I can afford the trip, but my family needs me.

In other news, well, there isn't much other news, but I wish there was. I need to sit down with my curmudgeonly laptop, get the cord to stop being annoying (there's a short in the machine somewhere such that if the power cord isn't placed exactly the machine doesn't get power, then it shuts down, and it's all very annoying), and sit down and revise "Who Comes for Thee". I would really like to get that piece in a polished state and maybe even sent off before I go to Clarion.

I haven't been doing much, read any, new writing. I think I've already gone into idea preservation mode for Clarion. I'm terrified that I'm going to get there and not have a thing to write about.

And that's only one of my fears. Still, I'm also really excited to be going and I want to BE there.

I believe I've commented on how I spend a huge part of my life waiting. Doesn't look like that's going to change anytime soon.

Well, I have to go get ready for racquetball. Bye, all!