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the book launch
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I had my book launch last night. I say those words and my whole body rockets into overdrive. I have been dreaming about this moment my whole life, and it was better than I ever expected. It was like a bat mitzvah or a wedding--a moment when you are doing something monumental and your whole community is there to support and celebrate you.

Let me tell you who was there: old family friends, my optometrists, the woman who does check-in at jazzercise, high school friends, elementary friends, the parents of my children's friends who are now my friends, work buddies from the job I left nine years ago, poetry buddies, dance buddies, people from John's department, the neighbors of friends, my therapist, random people who happened to be in the bookstore, my mom, John, the kids. . .at least 10 people who said they were going to come weren't there, and there were still 74 people.

It was absolutely stunning to look out at all those beautiful engaged faces. As several friends told me in the last few days, the audience will be with you. They want you to succeed. They gasped. They laughed. They applauded. They were a GREAT audience.

And I gave a great reading. I have always wanted to read poetry well, and about ten years ago I took a workshop with Elizabeth Austen (our current poet laureate) to help work on it. Frankly, I would love to work with her a lot more, but she helped me focus on being present with the words as I spoke them. Sometimes it's a delicate balance to think about what you are saying and not burst into tears. I made it. I was clear, loud, slow, and animated. Well, that's what I hope. A friend videotaped the whole thing, so I'll be able to check and revise.

We had great refreshments. I (everyone kept assuming John of course) made chocolate chip cookies and brownies. We had wine, cheese and crackers, chips. It felt very festive.

I sold 41 books, which just about covered the cost of the food. But, I've had to keep reminding myself of two things recently: 1. It's not about the money. I did not get into poetry to get the big bucks. Sure, I'd like to recoup the thousands I spent in contest fees, but that is not going to happen. I need to think about those fees as my contributions to the poetry world, and 2. PEOPLE ARE READING MY POETRY! I just started to hyperventilate again. I am so awed that so many people are reading so many of my poems. I've been publishing for 25 years now, usually in small journals with small readerships. John and my parents have read every poem I've ever published, but now all my friends and a few random strangers are reading my poetry. My work is out there, just like I always wanted it to be.


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