Debby

David's second visit to preschool

Fri, 5 Sep 08 21:42:00 UT

This visit is what I expected the first time around. David balked as we were about to cross the threshold, but then he discovered there was a hook with his name on it. (He can actually only recognize D, but we got to the right place.) He put his water bottle with all the others and got down to playing with the new trains. For the next hour and a half, he played reasonably well with others, happily by himself, and only checked in with me occasionally. He was particularly thrilled to bring his lunch box out for snack time. I know he will be upset on Monday when I actually leave, but I think he feels much more settled.

The classroom feels somewhat more settled than my last visit. I had gone straight to the director and voiced my concerns. She definitely heard me and did something about it. The former head teacher hung around a bit; the associate stepped up and seemed much more in charge than last time.

However, I can still very much feel the void. One thing I love about this school is the experience and competence all the staff exude. Unlike most daycares which often have monthly turnover (I mean that literally having been at one), these folks have been in their positions 10 years or more. They are relaxed in themselves and love what they do. I miss that. Plus, the lead teacher took her bunnies when she left the room. The bunnies were a major draw!

a green hour

Thu, 4 Sep 08 21:12:00 UT

I read some parenting advice column about how children should have at least one hour of unstructured outdoor play a day and got all nervous as I am wont to do after I read parenting advice, and then I thought about today.

.5 walk to school, play on the playground

.5 recess

1 play on the playground after school

.25 walk to Nolan's house

1 play in Nolan's yard including running in and out of the sprinkler

1 gardening party at schoolâwatering, turning soil, planting

Total outdoor mostly unstructured time: 4.25

I think we are ok.

the first day of first grade

Wed, 3 Sep 08 22:14:00 UT

I got completely thrown by the crush of people and not knowing where to line up. John and Rose just found the line of kids carrying pansies and chrysanthemums. Luckily, I found Rose and got to say good-bye before they walked in.

Rose was perfectly pleasant on the way to school and in a dandy mood after. This is shockingly different than last year, and I don't expect complete smooth sailing. She said she had fun though she couldn't relate a lot of details. The most important part was the sad plight of penguins in South America.

I instantly adored her teacher. Perhaps because she told me Rose had a sweet spirit and gave me a hug.

David's visit to preschool

Wed, 3 Sep 08 22:05:00 UT

So, how did David's classroom visit go?

He yanked Thomas the Tank Engine out of another boy's hands, screamed and threw himself on the floor when the teacher said it was clean-up time, refused to stand up during circle time, refused to see the cubbies, refused to see where he will get to put his new Dora the Explorer ballerina water bottle, screamed and cried when someone else wanted to use the shovel, screamed and cried when he couldn't find a digger, and said repeatedly, "I want out of this room."

And, the assistant teacher never smiled. The associate teacher seemed confused, tentative, and unsure of the plan. We were singing "If You Are Happy and You Know It" and she couldn't remember the words. (John said I promised not to harp on the fact that she didn't notice the date and day of the week were wrong as she announced them to the class. I'm not harping, really.) She was probably completely thrown because there is no head teacher. They seemed to think the former head teacher was going to help cover during the transition. She was nowhere present during my miserable hour. They are still trying to hire a new head teacher. The assistant kept trying to tell the associate what to do, and the associate let her.

How did the visit go?

David told Daddy he had fun and wants to go back to his school.

I'm keeping all my options open including not actually starting him until they hire a new teacher. We'll see how the visit goes Friday.

David's food wackiness

Tue, 2 Sep 08 21:32:00 UT

We all know Rose is highly highly selective about food. Recently she decided she no longer liked veggie booty or sesame rice crackers after having them on her yes list. David's not so bad. He'll eat a lot of different foods, but he's got his own wacky stuff going on.

One bite crackers

I'll put out snack for the kids, a plate of rice crackers and cheese. David will carefully take one piece of cheese, put it on one rice cracker, take one bite, and move on. He'll waste his way through half the food this way. We don't have a dog, and I'm not particularly fond of unmelted cheddar.

One bite sushi

First Daddy pokes the fish out of the center of sushi roll because if Mommy tries and breaks the roll, it's no good. Then David dips the fishless sushi in gluten-free soy sauce, takes, you got it, one bite, and that one's done. Then Daddy or Mommy eat the mushed up leftovers.

Got to be hot

Timing David's meals is an art. You put the hot dog in the microwave for 22 seconds. It comes out so hot you burn your fingers as you slice it up. Then you call David to the table. Except he's busy playing with the viewfinder or throwing a football through the basketball hoop or fighting with his sister over who gets to wash their hands first and by the time he gets to the table, his food has cooled, which is cause for much agony and a loud request for it to be reheated.

We pick our battles and this isn't one of them. So we reheat. Then it's too hot. Will we maintain his attention long enough to get the food into him while it is just right?

A broken cookie is no cookie at all

The good news is there are a lot of commercial g-f cookies on the market these days. The bad news, g-f cookies are prone to crumbling. David loves Pamela's chocolate chip cookies but only if they are perfectly round. He has a fit if they have been jarred a bit in our cupboard and cracked in two. Just when you think you are appeasing the child with sweets, he turns on you.

riding the ducks

Tue, 2 Sep 08 21:17:00 UT

In honor of my mom's upcoming birthday and the kids starting school, we went on an adventure we'd been talking about for agesâthe duck tours. I know they have these in many cities. They take Amphibious WWII vehicles on a tour of the city, land and sea.
We all had a great time.

You have to accept it's going to be very hokeyâbad jokes, silly hats, lots of music blasting in your ears, and oh yeah, the quackers. We all bought whistles that quacked like a duck. About a half an hour in, David fell asleep, but the rest of us learned where Elvis got his car washed when he was filming a movie here for the world's fair, got to see an up close view of the Sleepless in Seattle houseboat, and learned which bar the Deadliest Catch captains like to hang out in.

I've done several take the touristy things in Seattle like thisâthe harbor tour, the underground tourâand so far this was my favorite. It took me to my Seattle, the areas I like to visit and taught me a few new things about them. Plus we got to drive a truck into the water and keep floating. That's pretty cool.

firsts

Mon, 1 Sep 08 14:36:00 UT

sane airline travel with children

Our flights to and from Ohio were long, boring, and cramped. But, they weren't insane. For the first time David had his own seat. For the first time, David sat glued to the dvd player. I did not have to spend seven hours keeping his feet from kicking the seat in front of us and burning through a huge toy bag of distractions. I was exhausted at the end of both flights, but the exhaustion normal people go through not the special exhaustion of walking a toddler up and down the aisles or holding him while he screams.

petting a duck

The grandparents had planned great adventures for our visit. First stop, the family farm up the road. That's where the grandparents get their delicious hamburger. I chose not to explain these facts of life to the kids. Rose went on a school field trip to a farm, but David certainly never has. City kids, you know. I can probably count on one hand the times I've been on a farm. This one was so nice. The chickens, turkeys, and ducks are in cages so the predators don't get them, but the cages get moved to fresh grass every day. The steer roam in their own area. The pigs are very loud and curious. And the kids got to pet a duck, chicken, and chick.

petting two moose

This was inadvertent. For our next adventure, we went to a drive through wild animal zoo. None of us had ever been before, and it turned out to be a hoot. Deer, moose, buffalo, and other large grain eating animals wander about, and you can pour food for them. Grammy and I were in a car together, and we made the mistake of having both our windows down at the same time, so two very big moose (without antlers) stuck their very big heads through the windows. Like I'm going to shove a moose off my lap. I threw the cup of food out of the car. She and I spent the rest of the drive in a state of giggles, sort of like the hysteria you get on a roller coaster. The long horned water buffalo? were very very big.

riding on a pony

They gave us free tickets at the Wild Animal Park. Rose has sat on a pony before for some hokey picture thing at school, but I think this was actually her first time with the pony moving. She looked quite calm and said it was bumpy.

riding on a camel

Another benefit of the Wild Animal Park. I know Rose has never ridden on a camel before. I have. In Egypt when I was five and Julia was three. I remember how nerve wracking it was as the camel stood up. In this case, Rose mounted from a platform and had a rollbar to hold on to. David declined both rides.

David peed standing up

David, of course, knew about this, having observed Daddy and reading about it in numerous books, but he had never been interested in trying. Mr. Big Boy was quite successful and pleased with himself. He did it three times.

a day at home

Sun, 24 Aug 08 21:33:00 UT

good nap/bad nap

Every night, I go to sleep at 11:00. Around 1:30 David calls for me and only me. I get him a drink of water, tell him one George story in the chair, one George story in the crib, and lie down and go to sleep on the floor next to his crib. A couple hours later I wake up and stumble back to my bed. At 6:30, David calls for me and only me. At 7:30 John takes over and I have nap #1 of the day. (My sister says no wonder you are so tired.)

This morning John let me sleep 1.5 hours. I had lots of dreams. I loved it. Unfortunately, my afternoon nap was miserably aborted by screaming children.

The Mommy/Daddy beauty salon

Rose was reading a book on the potty (hurrah for the reading by herself!) and decided she wanted to do her nails and her hair just like the girls in her story. Usually, nail polishing is a grandma job, but I took it on. David, Rose, and I set up on the porch. David wanted hot pink on his toes and sparkly purple on his fingernails. Rose wanted an alternating pattern. I did a better job than usual, and David did a so/so job not wiping went paint all over himself. We managed to keep him on the porch until his nails dried, so at least the furniture was spared.

John was on hair duty. I emerged from my nap to find Rose in two adorable braids. I think David had a do, but by the time I showed up, he had misplaced his ponytail holders.

whining and crying

David was a wreck 75% of the day and out of control the other 25%. John and I have no idea what was going on. Hungry? Tired? In need of exercise? It was grim. When he wasn't somersaulting off the couch, he was flailing at his sister or us. When he starts running his banana over the table like a glue stick, you've got to take it away, but then he's hungry and out of sorts.

getting hurt

Being grumpy leads to getting hurt and much agony over the banged fingers, toes, and tushies.

books

I read books at 6:30 in the morning when I was half asleep. I read books when the screaming downstairs prevented me from napping and I snuggled everyone on the couch to learn what Dora wore to a Halloween party. I refused to read books when I thought I would fall over from exhaustion, so John had to take over. And then I read the bedtime books.

a walk in the rain

When I couldn't stand the rattling around the house with no plan, I insisted the kids go on an errand walk with me. Unfortunately, it was pouring. Rose was thrilled because she got to wear her brand new rain coat. Nothing was thrilling David. It was pretty much constant whining from the card store where we bought thank you notes, to the children's clothing store where we were going to buy David a raincoat but they were unexpectedly closed, to the used bookstore which was going out of business and we bought 7 kids' books for 1.64.

thank you notes

Rose loved writing her thank you notes, and she could pretty much do it independently. I told how to spell her friends' names, and she could handle most of the gift words. Who knew she could spell horse, coloring book, and magnet? As a special surprise, she wrote one to us. (For the grandparents reading right now, she's only gotten to the party cards; family cards are coming.)

defrosting the freezer

Defrosting the freezer has been on my to do list for months. (Since I've only done it once in the past 10 years, it probably should have been on my list for years.) Every time I opened the freezer, the clutter and ice build up just drove me nuts. John was not over eager to tackle this project, but I jumped in and he graciously helped me decide what food from 05 we could throw out and chipped away at the ice. We found brownies, berries, and a delicious spicy pasta sauce. The rest of stocks were woefully low. Our next big project is to start cooking for the freezer.

Adam and Shima's wedding

Sun, 24 Aug 08 21:00:00 UT

We went to a lovely wedding last night.

There was a time when we were going to five weddings a year, and I was a bridesmaid/maid of honor/chuppah holder four times, but things have quieted down the last ten years. Most of my friends are married, happily partnered, or relieved to be single.

I was very honored to be invited to this wedding. I've known Adam since he was born, but I haven't seen much of him recently, and I had never met Shima. It could have been awkwardâthe old family friends off in a corner while the youngins woop it up, but, in fact, I felt very much a part of the celebration.

Ceremonies are tricky when you are entwining three traditionsâMuslim, Christian, and Jewish. And add to that pretty non-practicing secular for all three. (Can you say crab and alcohol at the reception?) When the officiate referred to their "three Abrahamic traditions," it just pulled it all together for me. The couple included a saying from all three religious heritages, and they tasted honey and smashed a glass. The mother of the groom (Christian) asked me if she was the only one who shouted out "Mazel Tov"! I said we were all there with her.

The food was great. The band was great. The best man's toast was the best I'd ever heardâshort and heartfelt. The couple's thank you to their guests was also one of the best I'd ever heard, just something gracious and real about it. And the horah with the chair dance etc. was the best I'd ever had outside a Jewish wedding with a lot of Jewish guests. (You are probably wondering how many Jewish weddings I've gone to without a critical mass of Jews. Many.) All the guests got up and danced and danced with great abandon.

why I can't post my poetry and essays

Mon, 18 Aug 08 22:21:00 UT

I am sorely tempted to post the poems I've been cranking out this month or essays I've been working on, but I'm choosing not to for three reasons: fame, fortune, and professionalism.

Fame and Fortune: Most journals won't publish previously published work, and a blog, even one that doesn't boast my full name and has probably a 100 regular readers, counts. So, if I post my work here, the editor of The New Yorker will definitely not anoint me, and the big bucks will not be coming my way. Actually, the big bucks are never going to come my way since I've probably earned 200.00 dollars in my entire professional writing career, but if I want that occasional 75.00 prize, I've got to hold out.

Professionalism: I don't mind, nay I relish, putting unfinished work out there and getting feedback on it. Giving raw or down right bad material to some friends or other writers for comments seems professional. Posting it on the internet as if it were ready for the world seems unprofessional. There is a logic flaw to this argument since here I am posting material that is only minimally crafted.

There is a poetry exercise where you set up a booth at a craft fair and write poems for people. Then you give them the poem, and they walk away. You never get to submit that poem for publication. You let it go and trust that the creativity and craft it took to create that one will help you build the skills to write more and more and more. Priming the pump. That's one thing I'm doing with this blog. Much of my writing is based on my real life, so when I tell the stories to you, I'm trusting more will well up for my other writing.

All that said, if you'd like to see some of my work and, of course, give me serious in depth critiques on it, let me know. I'll email it to you.

Rose's birthday party

Mon, 18 Aug 08 21:59:00 UT

It was so relaxing. We did the same party we've done for the last three yearsâswimming and sandwichesâbut this year was the best ever.

1. Almost all the people knew each other. Rose invited one family friend and the rest were kids from her class. Because most of the kids had not passed a swim test, we asked the parents to come too and please bring siblings. So, it turned into a great socializing event for families who had already hung out on the playground and chaperoned field trips together.

2. The kids are really starting to swim well. Even if they weren't quite ready to pass the swim test, most of the kids were safe in the shallow end and could be supervised easily in the deep end. I remember previous years when we had to make all the grandparents put on bathing suits and get in the water just so we had a 1-1 ratio.

3. The weather cooperated. Last year it poured. We still had fun, but it's so much easier not to be rushing around shivering.

4. My back doesn't hurt. With great empathy for Scout and other chronic pain sufferers, life is doable in chronic pain and restricted motion, but it's so much easier not. I've been thinking about this a lot recently because my back went out on the camping trip last year. So, all the big summer events I'm doing right nowâthe trip to Chelan, Rose's birthdayâI did last year in pretty severe pain. I'm so much more relaxed this year, and I think lack 'o pain has got to get some of the credit.

Rose and Miriam pass the swim test

Mon, 18 Aug 08 21:32:00 UT

The swim test involves swimming two lengths of the pool, 50 yards. One way crawl, the other back stroke. It takes technique, endurance, and courage. I knew Miriam had all three. I didn't know about Rose. Rose has a nice stroke, but when she breathes, she turns all the way over on her back. She can easily swim the width of the pool, but I'd never seen her swim the length without stopping to grab the side. I knew she wasn't afraid of the deep end because of all her great jumping and diving, but I didn't know if she had the courage to swim all the way without the wall near by.

My sister, a great swimmer, paced each girl. It was very powerful for me to watch them.

It is without question a rite of passage. When you pass the swim test, you can swim in the deep end without a grown-up present. All those years of trying to play in the water while she clamped herself to me. Then hovering around the innertube or holding both her hands as she eased in off the sides. Six years of never taking my eyes off her in the water and now she's safe. I am allowed to walk away.

Rose's birthday list

Fri, 15 Aug 08 22:12:00 UT

Is it pink? Is it princess? It's perfect!

big changes at 6

Fri, 15 Aug 08 22:10:00 UT

1. Crossing the street without holding hands.--It was such a fight to get her to hold hands crossing the street. That was one of the biggest fights of her 2-3 stage, and one I felt totally righteous about. You will hold my hand; you will not be run over by a truck. We nailed that rule down so hard, it's difficult to let it go, but Nolan's mommy was letting him cross without hands. There's no question I can trust Rose to stick by me as we cross the street. She's usually right at my elbow. Now I just have to keep explaining to David why he hasn't earned this priviledge yet.

2. Brushing her own teeth. --Rose is more careful and methodical than I am. Every time I time I brushed her teeth, she was reminding me to be more thorough around the back of the molars. The dentist who made up the "parents must brush their kids' teeth" rule did not know the personalities in our household. I gratefully handed over this task.

3. Half the bedtime routine/Reading in bed.âThis rule went into effect tonight. All the books said how important it was to have a bedtime ritual. They probably also said it was important not to let it last all night. John and I kind of missed that part. We have managed to reduce bedtime routine from around an hour to half an hour, but it still involved both of us rotating through twice. And we'd get the whole thing done, and she'd say, "I'm not sleepy. Can I read my books with the light on?" Now, only one of us will do their half, but she can stay up and read books by herself for half an hour.

4. An allowanceâWhen school starts, we are going to give Rose an allowance. Up to this point, she's had a tzdakah box that she made in Sunday School, i.e., a box for charity. She's only thought of money in terms of tzdakah. Now, she'll have three boxes: tzdakah, save, and spend. Every week, she'll get a quarter for each. She is really intrigued by the whole process. She told us not to use our spare change for tzdakah any more; it has to come out of her box. And, she's trying to figure out what she might buy with the spend/save money. Since she's constantly asking for things whenever she sees a catalogue or walks through a toy store, I thought we'd start there. Most of it, of course, will be way out of her price range, but I know Scholastic has some books in the 1.25 range. I refuse to buy from them. This is her big chance.

poisoning my son with french fries

Fri, 15 Aug 08 21:52:00 UT

It took me two hours longer than my sister to pack for vacation partially because I had a two year old underfoot and partially because that two year old (and his sister) have celiac, so we had to pack the gluten-free bread, the gluten-free hot dogs, the gluten-free cereal, the gluten-free cookies. . .you get the picture.

With the microwave and the toaster, we could have just lived off our own stocks, but we were on vacation. Everyone else was ordering chicken fingers and onion rings (ok, I was ordering the onion rings); we wanted some junk food our kids could eat. French friesâbasically oil and salt with a little potato thrown in, we figured the worst that could happen was gas and water retention.

Unfortunately, we were not diligent parents; we did not ask to read the label on the French fry bag to see if these fries happened to be coated with flour, i.e. poison to our children.

Rose is asymptomatic. Who knows how many mistakes we've made with her? David's body lets us know. It's been three days and the disgusting icko four times a day poop is starting to taper off. For the most part, David's mood has stayed pretty cheerful. When he was a whiny miserable crazy boy yesterday, I figured I was paying for my mistake.

From now on it's potato chips and ice cream. Lots and lots of ice cream.