Dickie Cronkite
Someone who has more "theme park experience."


Shoot the messenger.
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I'm officially issuing a fatwa on B&G, who gave me the news my Kennewick-man article ran on B-friggin-five today, bottom-left corner, below an obit. Are you effing kidding me?

(And no, it's not on the Web site so I don't have a link for you. Gah! Fuck off!)

This was at least a B-2 or B-3 story. Clearly my ambition and lust for fame and power know no bounds...

Since I cannot take out my rage and ire on my generous patrons over at The Seattle Times, that leaves you, B&G. I suggest you take your wife and go underground - religious extremists could be knocking on your door as you read this.

Poor B&G - he can't win either way. It's been a tough summer for him, with me hounding him every other morning at 7am and then ripping him every time I have a new article out, regardless of his intelligence report direct from Seattle.

He's the George Tenet to my Dickie Cheney. Look: I don't wanna see your report unless you have something that fits my agenda, alright? If you can't do that, I'll get someone else who can give me better news, goddammit.

B-5. Christ. B-Suck it, Trebek.


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