And you would know I saw it, because goddammit, if CNN were nice enough to print effing AP bylines like every other decent media outlet in the goddamn world, I'd have a contributing credit on its front page. Right. Now. Mother. fuck.

That's only part of the story they've got there. After reporting the hell out of this all day, running through the flooded streets, getting soaked almost to the knees, and probably acquiring pneumonia, I will have a broader piece going out on the wires tomorrow morning, first thing. Once the bureau chief takes a flame-thrower to what I wrote today, glory shall be mine!

Oh, and it'll have a special guest star...

But it's not fair! The moment is clearly now and those last several graphs...that's all me! I wrote that! Gah! My lust for fame and power consumes me! Arrgh! Thanks again for the email, Paulo. That's heartfelt genuine and oozing with sarcasm at the same time.

And now, back to my friend Jack. 'Round three.