Welcome home.

Dickie Douchebag is back in America.

Thank the good lord. Now he can continue to talk about things he obviously never does, like "sunrise jogging," and "surfing." Ha.

When was the last time you actually saw the right side of 8 a.m.?

Also, what's jet lag got to do with it? You were in Central time in Caracas, right? Two hours? Jet-lag? Como?

I don't put the yoga past him, though, seeing as he is... well, you know...

Just take it a bit easy on the yoga, you remember what happened last time, Peter Brady.

Thanks B&G, and thank you Frosty for your warm words as always.

When was the last time you actually saw the right side of 8 a.m.?

Yesterday, when I got up at 4:30am Venezuela time to get on the effing plane.

That would be 12:30am PST - a four hour difference, douchebag. We're not talking Europe here, but enough to get me up at 4am after passing out at 9pm from traveling/sitting in airports for 17 hours straight.

And yes Frosty, we are all gay yogis out here in God's Country.

Dang, you just landed, and harsh words are already being thrown around.

Welcome back, and enjoy the time relaxing and getting your shit together, and well, COMING TO CHICAGO. C'mon, six inches of snow, temps in the 20s... you know you want to be here.

Welcome back, man! The first five rounds are on me.

C'mon, six inches of snow, temps in the 20s... you know you want to be here.
Trust me, we can totally relate here in God's Country. It's frigid sixty-five degrees. Can you imagine??


The first five rounds are on me.

Do not joke about such matters, Squared. I am very thirsty. (Would you throw in a designated driver, too?)

I echo the sentiments of two posters, Frosty and SM. 1) I'm sorry, but I kinda agree - that internal debate of sunrise jog v. outdoor yoga was about the gayest thing I've ever read. Not that there's anything wrong....and 2) YAY, WELCOME HOME! Now, book your Chicago flight. Remember, it's ORD, not MDW. Just keep repeating that....ORD....ORD....

Welcome back to the US....in case you didn't know Reggie Bush of USC fame won the Heisman Trophy, but 1% of the voters didn't vote for him to win 1st place....7 Notres, I mean Votres (hmmmm, doesn't notre dame have 7 previous Heisman winners) voted for Brady Quinn (of blonde hair blue-eyed descent), who wasn't even invited to the presentation.....heaven forbid a more deserving player who might be black or even a california surfer boy win.....I'm not saying it has anything to do with race, but really people, Brady Quinn gets all the RND first place votes...THAT's CRAP....

did I say welcome back yet?? DC, beer awaits if you should return to D.C.

Yay, glad you survived and are back. You're gonna have stories for the rest of you life, just from that trip alone.

And come on, if you're back in MDR, you're still only minutes away from places where you can get shot at night. Venice is right there waiting. :)

1) I'm sorry, but I kinda agree - that internal debate of sunrise jog v. outdoor yoga was about the gayest thing I've ever read.

Look, I know this is a Midwestern (Gary?) thing, but you guys are really gonna have to try and catch up with the rest of the world (for once). Outside of the cornfields, people - including men - do yoga. And it is not a "gay" thing.

And since when is a morning jog "the gayest thing you've ever read"? Man, am I flaming!

I'm confused...is it partially the morning/sunrise thing that bothers you? Like, since I rowed crew for a year and a half, getting up every morning at 5am - enjoying the peace and calm of the sunrise on the water - did that make me and my seven teammates flaming homosexuals to everyone in rural Kansas/Nebraska/Indiana/Ohio?

But surfing's cool, right? ...Or is that gay too? Please, do let me know before it's too late.

deareast BFF dewey - you know damn well brady quinn had brown/black hair. come on, now. he doesn't need an invite this year, he'll put it to good use in 2006 when he wins.

Dickie, as to your 'gay' crew team: No, just your coxan was.

Hehe, I'm four. And I missed you. And I'm *pumped* you're staying in SM's apt. And can't wait for NYE. And...

Enough ego stroking yet?

if you're back in MDR, you're still only minutes away from places where you can get shot at night. Venice is right there waiting. :)

Thanks BT. Actually, I'm just east of the MDR in beautiful Culver Shitty. The ex-wife got the beachside apartment in the settlement. (She had excellent lawyers.)

It's funny you mention - I used to live on Sixth and Westminster in Venice. Our block's heroine dealer was named "Tony," I think.

To picture Caracas, imagine a city where 3/4 is Oakwood, only way worse, and the rest is Mar Vista...but since Mar Vista's the only alternative to Oakwood, those apartments go at Brentwood/Santa Monica prices - and then you get an idea.

Enough ego stroking yet?

Yup, that's better. ;) 'Missed you too.

And in that spirit, I'll have Dewey know that the fourth-string QB at Northern Virginia Community College deserves the Heisman before any of those ballroom-dancing USC fucks. That's what those ND votes come down to...

dick: glad that you arrived home safe. as for my immediate holiday plans? who knows. still waiting on those freaks at medill to shell out some dough. but will probably be here, out in the bush with my people, as you so rightly guessed. actually, think i am heading up to a village outside of eldoret, a largish town in western kenya, to celebrate with my coworker. slow-roasted goat, homemade brew, and elephant hunting on jesus' bday. sounds divine.
xo

I never said gay, I was thinking NAMBY-PAMBY, or as Christine would say: A huge PUSSY.

Yeah, braugh, I'm going to do some beach "jogging" tomorrow morning.. for the sunrise. Yeah, It's going to be killer. Awesome. After that, I'm going to do some stretching, preferably in a pair of tight pants so I can show all the other men my love nuggets. Yeah, that'd be dope.

Also, after attending school with you for about 9 months, I know why you were unable to stick with the crew team: I forgot how early those bastards get up in the morning. You weren't too keen on that. Any Saturday that you saw 9 a.m. was a good one.

Frost, no weekend waking criticism from the guy who was always up, fed and had gotten his dry cleaning by 7:30 a.m. every Saturday. Talk about tightly wound.

Ouch.

Before you can start any work in earnest, you must complete the "Dickie Cronkite Victory Lap." Destinations include Seattle, Chicago and DC.

Man, that's a long Victory Lap by car. Although Betty the 4-Runner has had a few months off, so...

I never said gay, I was thinking NAMBY-PAMBY, or as Christine would say: A huge PUSSY.

Not to already abuse my Caracas card...but OK. Frosty: Get back to me on your Pussy dissertation once you've had a gun pulled, and you're not sure whether the man intends to pull the trigger. Then I *might* actually take you seriously.

While you enjoy the geriatric tranquility of Hilton Head, I'm going for my morning run. Any final objections? Going once...?

San Francisco hereby submits itself for consideration as host of a stop on the Victory Lap. *much cheering*

Somebody got picked on and got sad.

San Francisco hereby submits itself for consideration as host of a stop on the Victory Lap.

The Committee accepts the bid from the City of San Francisco, and has begun the official consideration process.

Hey Frost, why don't you ever post your own crap anymore, so we can have an equal opportunity feces-throwing contest? Instead of just lurking on my comments board like a bad rash?

Pussy.

Agreed, Dickie. Well, except for that last word.

I'm sorry, but "love nuggets" make me choke (well, not literally...I mean...aw, you know). I'm going to have to find a way to use that in conversation tomorrow.