I can't believe you guys went to Clark's without me. CK promised....
Curses!

Racist Fiesta Bowl Contender wasn't there. But that's funny - she said the same damn thing.

Sad to admit I haven't been keeping up with the travails de Dickie, but it must have been the news of my old apartment that drew me back for this one. Sucks for kirtyword 'bout the pipes, but given the quality of work done elsewhere by Mark, the jackass ex-boyfriend of Prithi, the landlord, I can't say I'm surprised.

Welcome back to the state of bliss, Dickie. Did you shower yet?

God's country will hopefully deliver you a shower with decent water pressure. But I wouldn't bet on it.

Happy New Year.

That's *all* you're going to tell people about your New Year's, MASON?...

Go ahead and try - I will deny everything PLUS post that family picture of you and your sister dressed up as rats. I'm not even talking a comment - I mean its *own* *post.*

(Somehow I knew that leverage would come in handy - I just had a sixth sense...)

So please, say "Mason" one more time. Go ahead - make my friggin' day.

Did you join a Masonic lodge or something on New Year's? Didn't Homer do that in an episode of the Simpsons?

No, and no. (It was the "Stonecutters") And I've got dirt on you too. Be careful.

Okay, I'm caught up on your posts. I won't make a big deal of it, but I will say that I do comment on this blog and in the future would like either to 1) not be referenced or 2) at least referenced by name. I know its a lot to ask since I'm only an accidental friend . . . but hey, I've got an ego too you know.

Dirt, dirt, give us the dirt!!! No one ever gives me good dirt on B&G. Its so unfair. My friends always sell me down the river without thinking about it. What does he pay you people with anyway?

Lights, I did call you the far-better half...but I do get your point. Next time you'll get bonafide character status, I promise. In my defense, I'm a total chauvenist.

Your husband and I are like the Cold War. We've got both of our nuclear arsenals aimed at one another - the minute one fires, it's mutually assured destruction. Containment. Zero-sum gain - you know, however you want to phrase it.

In the meantime, we keep our thumbs hovering over the button.

Mason: The fact that you would deny the night of passion we shared on new years eve hurts me deeply. You might be even sketchier than I first thought. I wish I had never walked into the random house party.

This is war.

I would like to note that although I respect whomever wrote it, I did *not* pose as Alley Cat Emily. I would never - I would come out and mock as myself.

Mason - I hear you on this one. I was totally that girl on the plane. Some freak had a surgical mask on next to me on the plane so she didn't catch germs. I then made it a point to cough on her and let her know I just returned from a lovely Third World sojourn. If I was hung over and miserable I was gonna share it damnit.

Mason: At least you finally hooked up.

Frosty: You're married. That disqualifies you from making any snide "finally hooked up" comments. Hooking up with your wife is no greater accomplishment than brushing your teeth.