Not happy about turning into my thirties soon. Better than the alternative. But I hate getting old now. As in, I want to stay young and beautiful and healthy forever. I know it's selfish and unrealistic, that most people die healthy and of old age. Sorry, just ranting. I'll be twenty-seven on my birthday, only three years left until thirty. I didn't really get to enjoy my twenties like most people. I hope my thirties are better.

I mean, most of my twenties consisted of college, which failed and being the misfit of the young adult programs I went to in the past. And being hospitalized. Sure, I had good moments too. I moved out of my parents' home. I graduated a young adult program. I got to go out sometimes due to the young adult program I graduated from.

I'm worried I might die before thirty. If so, I'd like my brain and body to be donated to scientific research, so they know not to screw up anyone else with autism. And my amigurumi "Belle" doll donated. I hope that's not the case.