Last night Rob and I decided to head over to downtown Burbank to see a movie. Mistake. Big mistake. We decided to see Cabin Fever. The previews looked kind of cool and Rob had mentioned that it had been getting good reviews. I will never listen to another movie review again. Critics smoke way too much crack.

That was probably the worst movie I have ever seen (which is saying A LOT considering some of the crap I have watched). I'll give it one thing though - the idea was at least original. There has (at least to my knowledge) never been a horror movie about a flesh eating / melting disease. But then again there was probably a very good reason for that. The characters were lame, the dialogue was horrible, the movie was just plain BAD, and the gore was taken to an extreme which made the film disgusting.

The characters were pretty lame because they were the same stereotypical college characters that are in every film. The slut, the annoying jock, the innocent girl, etc. Been there, seen that, give me something new please.

The dialogue was so bad that I wonder how this script ever made it to production. Here is an excellent example of how bad the dialogue is:
Jock: "Dude, I'm gonna go out and shoot some squirrels."
Innocent Girl: "Why would you want to do that?"
Jock: "Because squirrels are gay.
Or we can look at the dialogue when a kid tells a cop that they lit some poor sick guy on fire and probably killed him. The cop tells him to go have some booze and fun cause he's a cool party guy.
Yeah, it's just that bad.

The movie was horrible. Honestly the worst movie ever made. I think they were going for some cool Lynch-esque stuff and failed miserably.

Oh, yeah, and it was disgusting. Now, as most people who read my journal know, not much bothers me when it comes to horror movies. I can watch slasher flicks and not even wince at the gore. But this movie truely disgusted me and at one point I had to try real hard not to throw up. From people's flesh melting off when they touched things, to seeing almost dead people who had most of their flesh eaten away, to seeing a dog rip someone to pieces, to seeing a pig gutted while hanging by its legs over a bucket, this film was unnecessarily nasty. You would need to be pretty disturbed to like the kind of gore in this film.

My instinct was to walk out of the theatre after I almost threw up at the pig scene. I should have followed my instinct.

Okay, I should probably stop ranting now. Just listen to my advice and DO NOT SEE CABIN FEVER. Just don't do it. Back away from the movie as if it was a health hazard. Please. You'll be happy you did.

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Sadaam Hussein, this asshole has pissed you off for
the last time.

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