i guess it's time for me to update too.

My gramma isn't doing too well. the cancer has spread to her brain and she's in the hospital. she's better today than she was yesterday, but all we're doing now is waiting for the end.

she told Mommie last night that she's tired, and she's ready to go but she wants to try to hold on until Muffin is born.

i can't explain how i feel about this. i want her to meet my son so badly i could never explain what it would mean to me, but the thought of her suffering for seven (or more) weeks more for that doesn't seem worth it. i think if i told her it was okay to go, that she would, but that is so hard to say. i will tell her it's okay, but that is the hardest part of this whole thing.

the other thing is that she just may not listen to me, she has a way of getting an idea in her head and being very stubborn about it.

what can i say, stubborness runs in the family. :)

she is the strongest person i have ever known, and i have a feeling i will never meet anyone as strong in spirit as she is. she'll make her own choice about when she's ready to go. she really has given the grim reaper a run for his money, and she's still running.

the bottom line is that she will die and i will be okay. i don't want to be okay, but that is my only choice, so i will hold on to that.

the support i have recieved has been so wonderful. it makes it easier to handle all of this when i know i have support from so many people.