Tomorrow will be my last day of work here at the hotel. For some reason, it’s hit me today and I’m trying not to be too sad about it. But, I am really sad about it. I love working here, I love it and I’m going to miss it very much.

Maybe if I get it all out of my system now, I won’t fall to pieces tomorrow…

That sounds good in theory, but I don’t think it’s going to work that way. It will be hard when Ms. P leaves her shift when I come on at 3, she’s just as sad to see me go as I am to be going. Then it will be hard again when I clock out for the last time. I think I’ll cry some when I first get here tomorrow, but I think I can hold the rest of it in until I leave. Then I’ll go home and be sad for a bit and move on to what’s next.

I can’t help but feel a little stupid that I am this attached to my job that I’m going to be crying when I leave. I mean, no one I know likes their job. No one I know would do anything but jump for joy if they didn’t have to go to work and here I am trying not to break down and sob about leaving work to have a baby.

Maybe I have issues.

Or, maybe I just got really lucky and ended up with a job that was a good match for me. I do feel lucky to be working here, especially with being pregnant and everything. The staff here has been so good to me this whole time. You know, they were that good to me even before I was pregnant.

I love the staff. I’ll miss them the most.

And I know I’ll miss all kinds of other little things about the job. I’ll miss the regular guests that come in, I’ll miss fixing problems, working things out, taking care of people who appreciate it.

I don’t think there’s any surprise that there I things that I won’t miss. I won’t miss rude guests, or people who try to lie to get a discount. I won’t miss the dang blasted phone ringing and driving me crazy. But in a sad way, I will miss those things a little too. They have been too much a part of my almost daily routine for me to not sense their absence in my day. But, these are things I won’t be so sad about missing.

I guess I will just have to focus on filling my days with new routines. I don’t think that will be too hard with a newborn in the house. I have a feeling he will be keeping my days pretty full.

Three weeks (or less, or maybe a little more) from now and I will get to meet my son. I can’t even explain how excited I am about that. The anticipation is killing me, I want to see him and hold his tiny hands. I really want to know what he looks like. The first time I get to look at his little face will be one of the most beautiful moments of my life. I am really looking forward to it.

I guess this is the hardest transitional part of this pregnancy for me so far. This is when the big shift starts to happen between my life before Muffin and my life after Muffin. So, for the next three weeks I’ll have some time at home to reorganize my thoughts and feelings a little to prepare for Muffins arrival.

And I’ll have three weeks of waiting. Watching and waiting for him to make his appearance. I think these three weeks will be the hardest ones, but I know it’s all worth it.