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...nothing here is promised, not one day... Lin-Manuel Miranda


Going Black
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Most of you have probably heard. We lost Stu today. The love of my life, my joy, my sweet love died this afternoon.

I will never lose him. I know that. He's in my head, my heart, my skin, my memories, my DNA, my tears. I had unbelievably great luck and joy to have Stu Shiffman in my life for over 25 years. I had not known you could feel so happy, feel such love. I thought it was book and movie stuff, not real.

I am in shock. I know this happened but it is completely impossible to get that I will wake up tomorrow and my world will not include Stu Shiffman, except in reference. That I won't touch him again (oh, he had the yummiest skin.) That I will not get what I wanted, which was simply to cuddle up next to him, feel him stroke my hair, hug him. This is not possible, but it is. I know it.

I am so lucky I found him. That we found each other. He made my life so sweet, so full of laughter, and happy, and helped with the bad shit every single day.

He was my love and my heart. He was loved, liked and cherished by, well, by pretty much everyone who knew him. And I will love and cherish him all the days I have left. I will carry him with me in my heart, and in every little fuzzy animal he bought me.


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