There is a plan afoot to build a line of enormous electric pylons right down the middle of Scotland in order to move the enormous amounts of wind turbine generated electricity down to the poor power starved English. Everywhere you look in Scotland over-eager developers are persuading hard up farmers and landowners to let them build equally enormous windmills on every piece of scenic moorland and upland. In the rush for eco power we are about to lose the one thing that makes Scotland outstanding - its wonderful wild scenery and scenically stunning vistas. And why? Because some two brain-celled politician has caught some kind of born-again eco-madness, has fallen hook line and sinker in bed with the global warming and warning greenies and associated tree-huggers and is about to condemn us to a thousand years of ugliness in the name of saving the planet. Well, frankly, its a load of bollocks.

Who asked politicians to interfere in a perfectly good eco disaster? If we truly have succeeded in warming up the planet (which I sincerely doubt, and in any case we can blame it all on the Americans), the chances are that Scotland will get its glaciers back before it turns tropical. Why miles and miles of horrible pylons when they could put all the power into underground cables? Too costly of course - what a lie - costly to whom (or should it be to who?)? Only costly to the developer who has to raise more money and answer some real questions as to why they think it OK to desecrate Scotland in the name of a quick buck.

And what is it with these people and windmills? Do they imagine that having ghastly great colony of these things rattling and swishing away on every hillside is going to save the planet? More bollocks. We would have to cover every hillside from Ecclefechan to Nairn to produce the same power as a brace of good nuclear power stations, the very same nuclear power stations that the French have had for years and the UK Government has been letting gently rust away in case anyone asked any awkward questions. First awkward question which should have been asked years ago is what do you do to keep electricity pouring out of the plugs when you have closed all the existing nukes and are sitting there on a hot summer day, without a breath of wind to be felt? Whose turn is it to go out and chop some wood and get the Aga going so we can have a cup of tea?

A society without reliable repeat reliable power supplies is anarchy and revolution and complete damn disaster in every sense of the word. Just look at Iraq since George and Tony bombed the power stations. We might be profligate in in our use of electricity (although nowhere near as much as the greenies would lead us to believe) but that is preferable to having to take a pickaxe to your neighbour's washing machine so you can boil a kettle every second Wednesday.

The conclusion that any sane person would come to on seeing what laughably passes for a Government Strategy for Energy is that the only sensible thing to do is to sell up and move lock stock and barrel to France. England will dissolve into civil anarchy after the first week of continuous power cuts when the windmills don't work. What price eco-friendly whatsits when you can't even have a decent shower?

I suppose we could blame it all on the Americans as greedy power hungry (literally) exploiters whose gas guzzlers have screwed the ozone layer and cooked our global goose? I prefer to blame anyone over the age of 5 who has ever forgotten to switch off a light.