It hit me the other night (not that I haven't been thinking about this a lot in general, just not so specifically) that I really don't want to wait that long before having kids. Cynthia and I were having a conversation about planning for future children, and the timelines for such things, and in the course of that conversation I was twigged to the fact that I'm just not willing to wait that long.

So here's my current resolution and instinct (though it is possible this will change): If this whole dating thing doesn't work out over the next year or year and a half, I'm going shopping for sperm.

The funny thing is, instead of making me feel more pressure to "find a man," it actually relieves the pressure to have made that decision. Not that I don't want to find some fab guy to be in my life and adore me and do the whole kid-raising thing with, but that may or may not happen soon. And I realized that it doesn't have to. I have a lot of people in my life whom I love, and who love me, and I have a big support group if I should choose to have kids on my own. And if I want a lover, I can take a lover. If I want a new friend, I can make one. I already made one, in fact, and he's a great dancer! And if I don't find the love of my life before I have kids, maybe he'll show up later and be delighted to adopt 'em.

So that's my current frame of mind. And it feels right. So... in a couple of years, I'll probably be a mommy. :) Yay!