Just got off the phone with Jo-Ann about my Jordan script, and now I'm feeling better about what she's looking for.

The verdict was still "needs a stronger story," but her analysis of it was in light of procedural shows in general. She didn't buy the murder I created with little aspects of motive, but there was one more -- quite important -- element that she felt was lacking. She didn't think that Jordan had enough personal connection with the crime or the victim. Jordan didn't seem to care about the victims, so Jo-Ann didn't.

After mulling it over, I think she's right. I was focusing more on the relationship between Woody and Jordan, and not Jordan and the crime. Jo-Ann and I talked about it for a bit, batted some ideas around and we bid our farewells.

So now, I have something to wrap my creative juices around. My B-story is wonderful, according to the feedback from all angles, no need to mess with that. Now, how to make the A-story equally wonderful, so that it smashes the opposition, bowls the execs over and (most importantly) gets me a job. Do I scrap the A story and start over? It's not outside the realms of possibility.

Writing is rewriting.