Hehe...and all I wanted was the license to practice law!?!?
Hey, Rob: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. :)

I ought to begin by thanking Skeez for being there. Thank you. I know the last month has been tough, but I appreciate your time and insight the last two days and nights. You ROCK! (I promise, I will keep your advice and thoughts in mind.)

Yesterday, I met with the 'aunt'. It wasn't bad. Uncomfortable at first, but it became easier. I did tell her, briefly, what my brother and I have done with ourselves. I informed her about my mom's marriage and the family additions, but I did NOT provide detail. If she wants to know about my mom, she can ask her herself. My mom likes her life private. We talked about what she and my 'uncle' have been doing. She also told me about some 'family' members who have recently died. Very sad. Anyhow, my 'uncle' did come outside to join us after a little time had passed. Funny thing. I got to know some information about my dad that I ahve always wondered about, but I never did get to ask the realy tough questions I want answers to. My mom said it is probably better. She thinks my 'uncle' may have alot of regrets and it may be better to just let it lie and let him live with his decisions, good and bad, and the consequences of them. She thinks it will break open old wounds if I ask. I suppose she is right. Maybe the answers will come about in the end, anyhow. Truth usually does. One bit of interesting information - my 'uncle' did not say "no" to selling the turck to be an a**, but because of other factors. He did explain. He also said when those factors are no longer existing (which may be in the next few years), if myself or my brother want the truck, he is willing to give it to either one of us. Very cool. although I would never have asked his reasons, I appreciated that he offered them. I received the things that were my grandmothers. Very nice Angel ceramic plaques. Funny, I collect angel things for my own two reasons; found out my grandmother liked them too. (She died when I was 2, so I never knew anything about her.) As I was leaving, they both said if I was driving through town or whatever, to call them. THAT is something I NEVER expected or thought I would hear. I don't know that I would ever do it. I may keep in touch to the extent that I may add them to my Holiday card list.

After talking to Skeez, I talked to Rob. Skeez, I was openly honest about all of it. Thing is, he didn't have anything to say after I told him; that makes it very difficult to ever want to do that again. Oh, and your comment about wanting my cake and eating it too - pretty dead on. I also realize if I had just kept this thing where it was supposed to be from the beginning, I could've had it all. Problem with that is I wouldn't have the friend in him I have now. You told me to draft up my idea of the perfect situation for me at this point in time; here is what I came up with - exactly what I have with him, sans any label, with the option to go out with anyone else if the opportunity arises, but the option never being taken. Of course, this is unrealistic, but you didn't say it had to be realistic; you said to draft up my ideal. Realistically, I am not ready for a relationship beyond an unlabelable concept. I know that. I also know I cannot imagine sharing. I am not sure where that leaves me, but it doesn't seem to leave me in a good place. *sigh* And, yes, you are also right that you never met A. No one ever should that is in my life now. I still cannot be around him. Hate it when we end up at the same political events. Avoid him at all costs. Let him in and it got me VERY hurt. Complete shutdown after that. And, again, yes, C. never got anywhere near - getting engaged, and the ensuing course, seemed to be the right thing to do. So, here I am. Honestly, I don't even know if I have the ability (okay, maybe not ability, but certainly the desire) to let someone in that close again. This is the closest I have been and look what it already has done. I cannot keep my status quo of decision-making (decide and be done without looking back) and I cannot control emotional stuff like normal. Blech. 'Nough said.

I am off with Alicia for an alumni baseball game tonight. GO TITANS! It will be a great time IF the rain holds off. If it rains, I just may have to take her out in OC anyhow. Skeez, I wish you would reconsider going... bring him along; Ali and I won't bite. Looking at the time, I guess I should get running along. I am still in my pjs :) .

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