:Shennanigans:

I am going to keep the strings of entries open through recovery/rehab/therapy. I am sure there will be good and bad days, but after readings emails from so many people and realizing that there are many more out there going through trials and tribulations even harder than mine, perhaps being more open about it along the way will help the progress.

For instance, this morning is the first morning I woke up and cried. I realize I am going to have limitations, but it never really hit me that they are *real* limitations until now. I cannot just get in my car and drive to the grocery store or the coffee shop this morning because "I want to pick up X". My first feeling of uselessness was that I cannot find the Tylenol and I have to rely on someone else to help me go get it. I feel like a wet ragdoll, temporary or not I do not like having to feel dependent.

Yep, I know it is short-term and I will not be like this for long, but the enormity of the impact on the people around me hit hard.

Last night my parents told me how proud they are of my attitude and approach and that they are so happy to see the light of *me* still in me but brighter-it makes it a little harder to find it ok to cry and feel sorry a bit. Which is probably good in the long run, but a good cry sounds good too right now. On the flip side, I do not want to show weakness; I want and need to stay strong because this is going to be hard on everyone, not just me.

I know, confusing, huh?

Anyhow, my wonderful husband is finishing his shift, coming to my parental units' home, and after he gets some much needed zzzzzz(s) today, we will be having a small wonderful Easter dinner together tonight. Mmmmmm-probably some amazing Italian dish my Pops creates!

Tomorrow we plan to keep it simple; we have a few family coming by our house for a day of gaming and food. M and B are bringing a ham, we are picking up and making the scalloped potatos, green bean casserole, croissants, deviled eggs, and cranberries, and D and A are bringing dessert. It will be nice to munch on an Easter dinner while gaming the day away. I opted for the fewer people for energy reasons as well as spacial factors-gaming gets, shall we say, expansive...

I am, however, excited that I get to be home to do it.

Arrivederci!

Ghost Orchid - are they not simply lovely?

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2008-03-22 2:30 PM nice to be home Previous Entry :: Next Entry Mood: so tired so easily still Read/Post Comments (1)	I am going to keep the strings of entries open through recovery/rehab/therapy. I am sure there will be good and bad days, but after readings emails from so many people and realizing that there are many more out there going through trials and tribulations even harder than mine, perhaps being more open about it along the way will help the progress. For instance, this morning is the first morning I woke up and cried. I realize I am going to have limitations, but it never really hit me that they are real limitations until now. I cannot just get in my car and drive to the grocery store or the coffee shop this morning because "I want to pick up X". My first feeling of uselessness was that I cannot find the Tylenol and I have to rely on someone else to help me go get it. I feel like a wet ragdoll, temporary or not I do not like having to feel dependent. Yep, I know it is short-term and I will not be like this for long, but the enormity of the impact on the people around me hit hard. Last night my parents told me how proud they are of my attitude and approach and that they are so happy to see the light of me still in me but brighter-it makes it a little harder to find it ok to cry and feel sorry a bit. Which is probably good in the long run, but a good cry sounds good too right now. On the flip side, I do not want to show weakness; I want and need to stay strong because this is going to be hard on everyone, not just me. I know, confusing, huh? Anyhow, my wonderful husband is finishing his shift, coming to my parental units' home, and after he gets some much needed zzzzzz(s) today, we will be having a small wonderful Easter dinner together tonight. Mmmmmm-probably some amazing Italian dish my Pops creates! Tomorrow we plan to keep it simple; we have a few family coming by our house for a day of gaming and food. M and B are bringing a ham, we are picking up and making the scalloped potatos, green bean casserole, croissants, deviled eggs, and cranberries, and D and A are bringing dessert. It will be nice to munch on an Easter dinner while gaming the day away. I opted for the fewer people for energy reasons as well as spacial factors-gaming gets, shall we say, expansive... I am, however, excited that I get to be home to do it. Arrivederci! Ghost Orchid - are they not simply lovely? Read/Post Comments (1) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top
:: JOURNAL HOME :: SUBSCRIBE TO THIS JOURNAL :: Brainsalad :: Friendly Fiction - Adventures in writing. :: Girl Child :: JamTart :: Kenny :: LisaMarie :: Netter...and her Empire :: Reenie :: RT :: Scout :: SmartiPlants :: WordWebbing ::