The other night, my better half (my wife), blurts out "oh no, my spotted rhino just got out of the barn". Well, I was pretty much watching my eyelids and pretending to pay attention...so I leaped out of bed and threw on some clothes- at least I THINK I put on some clothes, grabbed a flashlight, and sprinted into our backyard.

Then, it hit me. Wait a minute. We have a great dane, two saint bernards, a black lab, a pomeranian, three cats, s mess of kids...but no rhino. I had been tricked. I felt like the fool standing in our backyard looking for a spotted rhino which we never had.

I sheepishly returned to our bedroom where my wife wondered just "what in the hell had gotten into me". So, I was stuck admitting that I was not really awake and watching Desperate Housewives with her. She told me that my ungodly snoring had given that away a long time ago.

Has anything like this ever happened to you? Pause...pause...pause...sound of crickets chirping...

Alright then, let's try something much more realistic, shall we? Have you ever taken a picture with your cell phone (damn, that still seems like something out of Star Trek) and announced..."that is going straight to Facebook"? Sometimes I think we should snap the pic and just blurt out "FACEBOOK" and it appears there. I am kidding...I really don't want that. Their stock just went up another dollar.

Let's try another approach. Do you ever feel like you HAVE to return favors on facebook? You know- you just got home from a 14 hour work day (yes, I really do work 14 hour days) and you have like one bizillion requests. You chug down a dozen five hour energy drinks and set out determined to return all those necessities to your facebook pals- which- you really have never met any of them. Of course, at the same time, all of your close buddies a trying to do the very same thing as it is only right? If they do- you must also or else the world will end.

Alright- I don't really mean any of this...or do I? Actually there is a reason for writing this...aside from my own amusement. Apparently, it has become important to gain a substantial amount of "likes" before your band can be considered to play at certain establishments. I am trying to help some friends get their band more "gigs"- I still love that word- and I have been pushing my REAL friends to "like" their band on Facebook. I finally got the magic number over 100 and all it took was having a few dogs- like all of mine- who have theri own facebook pages- and a few horses also- and no, I still do not have a rhino "liking" them. Maybe if I could find the one my wife lost...oh well. Since I have had 43,000 people read my rantings...perhaps a few of you who are on facebook- and I am sure that 42,999 of you are...can go to https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mad-Monkey/164419246960818 and like them for me. PLEASE! Once again, that is

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mad-Monkey/164419246960818 again, that is

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mad-Monkey/164419246960818

Please "like" them and maybe, just maybe, the next time you need a spotted rhino- I will send you one...if I can find him