If you ever came across me walking Maya in the dark, you would know me immediately. I would be the crazy lady who never stopped talking to her dog! Yes, we've entered That Dreaded Season again: fireworks season, starting the month before Guy Fawkes' and not ending until nearly Christmas, when every single day, the fireworks start exploding overhead the moment the sky begins to darken (if they even wait that long).

I used to love fireworks back when I lived in Michigan, where private fireworks were illegal and I only saw them on big public holidays, at events put on by the city. I don't love them anymore. By Guy Fawkes' night itself, the neighborhood takes on the feeling of a war zone, with smoke filling the air and constant explosions, and every animal in the neighborhood is terrified. Every year, the fireworks get louder. We used to go away every year for the Big Weekend Itself, because even Nika - who wasn't particularly worried about most noises - was so panicked by the event. Maya is genuinely phobic about loud noises, and we now hate, hate, hate this whole season with a passion.

The only way to take her out after dark without her suffering a nervous breakdown is to treat the whole thing as an amazing game. I start the games five minutes before we go out, I spend the whole walk babbling excitedly at her, my voice chirping away at a pitch that could almost shatter glass...and we get through it. If I skip any part of that routine - or if I stop babbling at her for even a second - her tail tucks itself between her legs and she goes into a panic, desperately dragging to get home, scrabbling at the front door to be allowed back inside to safety. If I carefully follow the routine, she stays edgy and scared but she keeps herself together and even wags her tail from time to time. But I shudder to think of the impression I must make on any other human being who passes us!

There's one noise she isn't scared of, though! The other night after we finished watching some episodes of Pride and Prejudice, I decided to experiment with the PhotoBooth on my laptop, using the built-in camera. She was fascinated by the beeping! So this is the progression of photos that got taken as she wormed her way in to find out what was going on...