according to http://totl.net/VirusScanner/? ...

The virus that have infected me will be show here along with thier cures, if known.

Viruses I suffer from:

Junkfood
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture. (ok, yeah, so this one is true)


British
No need for cure. Benign virus.
(umm..what?)


Brand Names
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good. (no, I am not a label whore, thank you)


Macintosh
Use a mouse with more than one button. (macs suck ass ...bite me myke =P )


Cars
There just hunks of metal which go real fast. Ride a bike through London at rush hour.

Viruses you might suffer from:

TotL (85%)
Go read Brunching


Religion (90%)
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)


Discordia (60%)
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday. (no suits until i HAVE too... and can't I have more than just the buns?)


Windows (75%)
Try MacOS X. It's based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn't suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice.
(what did i say?? NO MACS - THEY SUCK ASS)


Free BSD (90%)
The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.


Politics (60%)
Stop caring! (I dont' really, trust me.. politics suck almost as much as macs do)


Conspiracy Theory (78%)
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary. (if i knew what the government was actually doing in this country i might agree that it is scary... that is why i stay oblivious... ignorance is bliss, thank you)


Environmentalism (73%)
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle. (done)


Japan (60%)
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.
(small is not bad... short is good. tall is bad, so neener, neener, neener)