We (Sam's family and I) went to dinner last night to celebrate Stacy's birthday. Fortunately I managed to avoid the whole bar issue by leaving immediately after dinner. It was nice to have a few hours to myself to clean the house and relax.

Tonight there are so many things that I would like to do, but who knows if I'll have the time. I want to mow my lawn, call Brittany, visit my family, and watch the Browns game at the bar with some guys from work. Don't know how to prioritize this night. I'm thinking I should just forget the bar, but knowing me, that's the only think I'll actually do tonight!

To be honest, though, I just love being at home these days. There's nothing better than curling up on the couch with my beagles...watching tv or reading a book. Last night I spent most of my time at home ironing and vacuuming, listening to the Ataris and the new Rancid CD, singing my butt off...falling asleep on clean sheets in my bedroom that smells of Carpet Fresh...windows open, fan on, and Zeusie trying to hog my pillow. Sometimes I hate being alone all of the time, but often the company of others is more of an annoyance than a comfort. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather be with Sam all day, going to bed in a tangle of arms, legs, and paws...trying to push the dogs out of the way so that I can get closer to him and kiss the back of his neck before I fall asleep. I guess if I can't be with him I'd rather be alone. Sometimes, though, I do feel like he's with me. Maybe it's all of the dreams I've had lately...I'm not sure, but I've felt it since the blackout two weeks ago when I had a minor breakdown and went to the cemetary to talk to him. I've felt different ever since.