...Jeff. Damn him. I saw him last night for the first time in over a month. He called while I was getting ready to go to darts, and I didn't even invite him to join me. I was frantically trying to get dressed and finish straightening my hair and he asked where I was going. When I told him where I was shooting darts he said he'd stop up there. In all the times he's said he might stop somewhere, he never has, so I wasn't even expecting to see him. Well, last night he showed up...and damn...he looked great.

The boy makes me nervous, which is ridiculous because I'm not usually the shy, stuttering type...but there's just something about him. He's very sweet to me...but more than that...he's just pretty darn hot. And he smells great. And he's a great dresser. And I hate the fact that he has this strange effect on me...because it makes me feel guilty or something. And I swear he does some things on purpose to make things harder for me. A few times when I hung out with him at his house this summer he would change his shirt in front of me...or walk around without a shirt on...just to show me that he had these great muscles or something...and he gives me these really great hugs...and he says really nice things to me that make me feel really good. Damn him...damn him...damn him!