I love bright, crisp October days. I don't even mind sitting here at my cluttered desk on a Monday morning when I'd usually rather be in my bed or near the lake. I'm now drinking overpriced Starbucks coffee (I know, I know...I'm morally opposed to Starbucks...but it's so nummy right now) and thinking of my surprisingly delightful weekend...

Friday night I stayed home and got some more cleaning done. I lost my motivation at about nine, though, and decided to watch The Virgin Suicides. I think Sofia Coppola did a great job adapting Jeffrey Eugenides' novel...I was fearing a made for Hollywood happy ending. Though I remember reading it and finding the Lisbon parents much more distasteful than presented in the film...Maybe I should reread it to figure out why.

Saturday morning I was up extremely early...which is out of character for me...I did some more cleaning, walked the dogs, and went to breakfast with Jessica at the same dive we go to every weekend for our $2 meal. Sam's ex-wife and son walked in shortly after we arrived, and I was not thrilled to see her. She was rude (why am I surprised?) and I resented the fact that she was at MY restaurant. She pretty much dragged Sammy away from me, and I had trouble enjoying the rest of my morning...

After more cleaning at home I went to work at the restaurant...I dread Saturday nights at that place. They are insanely long and busy, but I survived and made it home in one piece. Later that night (or early Sunday morning) Jeff finally called and invited me to see his new place. I can't explain how happy I was to hear from him.

Jeff's new house is in a historic part of Cleveland called Ohio City. Basically there are a few streets of beautiful and amazing old houses smack dab in the middle of the ghetto. It's a beautiful neiborhood...I wouldn't even mind driving through the ghetto-fied streets chock full of rapists, gang-members, and prostitutes if I lived in one of those houses. When I got there it was almost 3 am, and he showed me around the house. I am now suffering from a major case of house envy. The building doesn't look like much from the outside, it sort of reminded me of an old store front, but inside there are beautiful hard wood floors and molding, etched glass windows and doors, two large carved stone fireplaces, wood columns...I love old houses and I was bouncing around his house in excitement, trying to keep quiet so as not to wake his two housemates. The house has been cared for, too...which eases my mind because I hate to see these old houses let go and run-down. Not to mention that I'm amazed at the way these three single guys managed to decorate this house. They did a great job, I'm sure the future women in their lives will be very proud of them...

It was really nice to see Jeff, too, though I have to battle my inner demons every time I see him. Our time together was innocent enough. We just joked around and talked, he let me pick the t.v. channel since I don't have cable and I really miss all those channels sometimes... He just laid next to me and rubbed my back while we watched Rock Star, and a huge part of me wanted to turn to him and hug him or kiss him, but I just couldn't and I can't explain why not. I guess the thought just terrifies me. I'm not used to this whole boy/girl thing, you know? I mean, what if he doesn't want me to be all affectionate with him? What if he doesn't reciprocate? What if I feel like an ass? Or worse yet, what if I really start to like him? No good can come of that. It'll never work, relationships never do, I'll have one more thing to be bitter about...blah, blah, blah...

Course, I know in my rational mind (yes, I have one) that he's a young single guy who has been calling me now for six months. He says nice things to me...he does nice things FOR me. I've known him for years (we used to work together 'back in the day')...and ever since I ran into him last spring he's been great. He's a great listener...he tells me things that I need to hear, even when I don't want to hear it...I have a feeling he probably wouldn't mind hugs or an occasional kiss, but I guess I'm what you call a "chicken shit." Every time we get close or I start to get uncomfortable, I crack some stupid joke, tease him, or jump up to go to the bathroom. He's walked me to the door every time I see him and yet I just barrel out the door without even looking at him...It's sort of funny, in a way. I act like I'm sixteen or something.

Anyway, we stayed up together until 6am and I left because I needed to get up in a few hours. It was really nice to see him though. Three and a half short hours later I was headed to Pittsburgh with my sisters to do some furniture shopping. It was such a beautiful drive. The leaves were turning, it was bright and sunny, I drove with my sister Kelly, popped the sunroof, turned up the radio, and loved life...

Then we went to IKEA and I really loved life...such prices! So many choices! I'm not good with decisions and there are about 10 different entertainment centers that I want. I couldn't pick one...so I didn't bring one home, which only means I can go back in a few weeks and relive that drive. I did, however, get a bed and I'm in love with it. I'm buying the mattress tomorrow, and shortly thereafter I will buy a keg, invite my friends over, and burn my futon in the fire pit. Hee, hee! No more stiff necks! No more bruised legs! No more prison-bed dreams! God I can't wait. I bought an end table, too, and I actually managed to put it together (I'm not so talented in the assembly department).

I'm actually looking forward to my week, too. I only work two days, I'm taking Sam's daughter Brittany to Six Flags for rollercoasters and haunted houses, I'll be sleeping on a real bed, I'm going to see a great comedian Friday night...Gosh, it almost feels like I have a life!