I haven't written in awhile. I'm not really sure why. Days have just blended together for so long. For too long.

I'm sitting in the office with a paper cup of instant machine coffee, can't have coffee makers that make coffee from actual COFFEE BEANS at this place. I guess HR is afraid that real coffee might cause more of the editors to sip, blink, realize this place sucks ass, and quit. Some office drones have been breaking often today, leaving their cubes to stand in front of the windows, arms crossed, watching the snow falling in fluffy clumps.

It's Friday and a pay day. Salaried employees or those looking to use vacation hours before the end of the year have left early. Working seven days a week has taken some of the pleasure out of Fridays. No longer being in extreme debt takes pleasure out of the pay check. Funny how little money means to me now that I don't need it. I mean, I need it, but not in the "I have two cigarettes, an empty gas tank, no food, and the electricity will be turned off tomorrow" way. Now it's simply the, "Oh, yeah, Christmas, guess I'd better buy some gifts" sort of need.

I haven't really Christmas-shopped in two years. Last year I went into one store, a Toys R Us, and blindly threw toys into the cart for Sammy and Brittany. Everyone else knew I didn't want to deal with Christmas, but I suppose this year I should make up for last. I have no idea what to buy the kids this year. I rarely see them these days, don't know what they have, what they want. Guess I'd better make some phone calls and figure it out.

I'm supposed to go out tonight for my friend Dena's birthday. I have a feeling I'm going to weasel out, not really sure if I'm interested. I know I'd get drunk and act like an idiot as I tend to do these days. Plus I know she's having problems with Frank, her husband (and one of my close friends). I know Frank will get drunk with me, she'll get upset, he'll bitch about her to me and make me uncomfortable...it doesn't bode well, I'm afraid.

My birthday is next week. Can't believe I'll be 26. Not where I thought I'd be, you know? Ah well, I suppose I've learned a few things. This week, for example, I learned an excellent reason why you should keep your dogs' nails trimmed. If you don't, you might be a bit non-plussed when you come home from work, try to get your two dogs on their leashes (which is difficult when they're so excited and feel the need to jump all over you), and then cringe in pain when one of your sweet pups gets her toenail caught in your belly button ring and yanks it out. Yeah, I've been grossing people out with that story for a week, now. Welcome to my thrilling life.

Listening to Cake now. Haven't listened to this CD in awhile, forgot how much I love this band. I saw them at the Agora when I was in college, it was a great show. "Walk on by the house where you still live. Walk on by the house where we would kiss. And the room where I held you tight, tonight I must walk on by." Love it. I'm going to see Manson at the end of this month. That'll be interesting from a purely anthropological sense. Can't wait to get an eye-full of that freak show (not the band...the audience). Nipple clamps, anyone?