Last night at darts I promised myself I wasn't going to drink. I've got a great sense of humor when it comes to promising myself things that are so absurd I can't even say them aloud without a snicker.

Anyway, after tottering home and flinging my inebriated body on the couch, I decided to tear the plastic wrapt off of my Underworld DVD and give it a go.

In my drunken state I think I managed to watch the first twenty minutes or so. My thought process went something like this...

"Hmm...what the hell is Hero doing jumping off of buildings in that PVC getup? Claudio was so right about her. Tramp!

Oh, look, it's Ben in the subway! He looks like he's running from somebody. Probably Felicity, that crazy stalker bitch.

And I didn't think vampires needed guns either. Aren't their supernatural/preternatural strengths enough for a good fight scene anymore? God, what the hell am I going to do now that Buffy is over. I mean, Angel's cool and all, but he's probably got a year left, maybe two, tops. Then what? Reality tv? I don't think so! Alright, bang, bang, bang. I get it. *yawn*

Back to Hero. Apparently vampires have reflections in this movie. Interesting. Oh look! The guy from Snatch is playing with guns! Cool. I love that guy.

Hero's on the computer, blah, blah. Ugly vampire guy wants her to dress up for something. Hmm, cool dress hanging up, there. Not very 'maidenly' though is it, Hero? What would Claudio say? Did you wait until before or after your honeymoon to tear his throat out? And who made you a vampire anyway? I bet you that prankster Benedick had something to do with this."

That's all I remember. I'll try again tonight, if I'm able drag myself away from the rug scrubber.