According to weather.com it is 43 degrees outside. You could’ve fooled me. It must be seventy, eighty at least. I suppose, however, that’s just my freezer-burned toes talking. It feels positively balmy outside. I want to drag my computer off of my desk and sit in the center of a sunny parking space. I want to skip through fields full of dandelions. I want my dogs to be miraculously cured of their beagle-ness so that I can take them to the park, leashless, and frolic together. I want to dance and sing in my yard like a Disney character while robins help me with the laundry. What…you’ve never thought these things?

Yes, I know that it’s a cruel trick, a false glimpse of spring, but dammit if I don’t wish I could be outside right now. Yet here I toil. Rather, here I sit at my desk, trying to look like I’m toiling. See, if I pile up a large stack of papers on my desk, put my headphones on to block outside distractions, keep as many programs as possible open on my desktop at the same time, and furrow my brow in mock concentration, you would never know that I’m alternately e-mailing fellow desk-jockeys, blaring the Beastie Boys, reading journals of people that I’ve never met, hiding a novel underneath my desk, or book browsing on Amazon. Nope, full of deceit I am. Yep, if anyone in management was on to me, I’d so be ‘Disciplined.’

I have the night off. I’m trying to decide what the hell to do with myself as I need to do about a hundred things in the next week and have to try and weed out the least vital. I need to start getting things together for my Great Departure so that I know what I still need. Of course, to demonstrate just what sort of nerd I really am, I’ve started assembling the books first. I’ve narrowed it down to five and can’t seem to narrow it down any farther because I feel as though I really NEED all of them. While I know it’ll be a long flight there’s no way in hell that I need five stinking books for eleven days. I’m going on vacation, not study group, so I’m still debating. Of course, I’m thinking that my book dilemma is my lame excuse for my serious procrastination problem. Ah well, I’ve still got a week. I might read a few of the vital five before I go, thereby eliminating my issues.

Wow. I’m completely out of things to talk about. This is depressing. Books and weather? Is this what I’ve been reduced to? Hmm. I used to be interesting. Well then, guess I’ll just entertain myself with that novel that’s under my desk, or listen to some great tunes. Ever since my damn 300-disc changer at home decided to stop working most of my CDs have migrated to the office. Though I did manage to hook my speakers up to the television in order to listen to CDs through the DVD player, it’s just not the same. So, let’s look to the great mood, beautiful weather tunes. Think I’ll start with “Better Way” by the Ataris, “Walk Away” by the Dropkick Murphys, “Here in Your Bedroom” by Goldfinger, “Ruby Soho” by Rancid, “Swing, Swing” and “The Last Song” by the All-American Rejects, “Somewhere on Fullerton” by Allister, “Where Do Broken Hearts Go?” by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, “Mono” by Courtney Love, “When the Music Stops” by Eminem, Y’all Wanna Single?” by Korn, “The Old Apartment” by the Barenaked Ladies, “Should I Stay Or Should I go” by the Clash, “The Good Life” by Weezer, “Santa Monica” by Everclear, “Oliver’s Army” by Elvis Costello, and “Girl from Mars” by Ash.

Yeah, that should do it.