Haven’t written in a bit, trying to catch up a bit and while I know I’ve been busy, I’m grasping for things to document.

Last weekend was a blur, I remember going out to dinner, working a bit, and going to an Indians game that ended up being rained out (I was bummed not because I wanted to watch the game, but because I wanted to relax in the loge with my girl and drink some free alcohol and eat some free goodies…ah, well). Think I drank a bit too much anyway, but you’ll have that.

And this week? Well, more random working and such. Took yesterday off to help Jessica move out of her house. I’m convinced I’m too good of a friend for my own good. Saw Big Jeff on Tuesday night, which was strange. Dreamt about Sam last night, woke up sadder than I’ve felt for awhile. I’ve been wondering what he’d be thinking about all that is going on with our friends, perhaps that is what led to the dreams. Who knows?

Get to work again tonight, which is always lovely. It’s getting tougher to go there each shift, sometimes I even feel my car shuddering when I point it in the restaurant’s general direction. I’m trying to stick it out for a bit longer and quit the right way instead of doing what I was fully prepared to do on Saturday night, which is walk in, take a look around, say something to the likes of “Nope, don’t think so,” and walk right back out again. I haven’t fully completed the scenario in my mind, but I believe it involves stopping at the liquor store for a bottle of wine and laughing all the way home.

I’ve just realized that Mother’s Day is this Sunday, and am now scrambling for gift ideas. I swear it feels like I’m scrambling for gift ideas a lot these days. It’s tough to find a gift for a woman with MS who can’t do too much on her own. I’ve tried books on CD but I recently noticed them in the corner of her bedroom, still shrink wrapped. I gave them to her four years ago. I have no idea what to do for her. The same with my grandmother, who seems to buy herself whatever it is that she wants/needs anyway. I also have to figure out what to get for Brittany for her birthday, which I’m again surprised to discover is next week. She’ll be eleven, though based on her actions she behaves pretty much the way I did at, oh say, 15. I worry about her. Perhaps I’ll give her that huge picture of Jesus that my Mormon Aunt gave me when I graduated from high school (no, I don’t know why, either). I couldn’t take his reproachful gaze and hid the portrait behind my dresser, accidentally broke it, and wonder even now if I’m being punished for my neglect. Seriously though, what the hell would an 18-year old girl embittered with religion after 13 years of forced attendance at a parochial school want with a large picture of Jesus? And a Book of Mormon? Was she hoping to “save” me? Did I forget to mention that my family’s delusional? Makes me want to fornicate, steal, and lie during my next smoke break.

Other than that, I’m more thrilled about the weather than anyone really ought to be. I’ll be taking my mountain bike in for maintenance tomorrow after work, need new brakes and a new chain, though I have my eyes on a cool new shock that puts my current shock to shame. I can’t wait to hit the trails. I’ll be euphoric for weeks, unless of course I have another bad fall, but we won’t think about that. It’s not fun unless it’s dangerous, right? Or unless the rangers give me crap about riding on hike-only trails, which can be a bit of a downer, but why should those lovely trails go to waste? Seriously, my bike won’t hurt them. I promise.

Well, back to work for me. Hopefully I’ll manage to survive tonight as well, though I fear I’ll drive out there and drive right past the driveway and straight back home again. I just have to remind myself of all the credit hours this job will pay for, not to mention the DVDs that will be released this month. Buffy Season 6, anyone?