But first, here’s a new one:

Tuesday night I met some friends for drinks at a bar that they’ve declared to be their “new Cheers.” I was introduced to the owner and our conversation immediately turned to music. We discussed the new House of Blues and, when asked what act I’d seen there (Manson), the answer shocked him. Apparently, I look way too (brace yourself) “Party of Five” to listen to such music. Wha??

My reaction to the statement made way for much backpedaling on behalf of the speaker, referencing the two “beautiful women” that I apparently look like a cross between (that would be Neve Campbell and Jennifer Love Hewitt). First, I don’t think so. Second, we both knew that he was not referring to my looks. So, apparently, I remind people of a second-rate nineties teen drama about a family of orphans facing your basic Brady Bunch problems. I discussed this with my friend L, who told me if anything that I’m way more “My So-Called Life” than “Party of Five” which, truth be told, makes me feel only slightly better. I suppose the fact that no one dared mention “90210” or “Dawson’s Creek” should make me feel a bit better.

Of course, by the end of the night, after taking in the Tim Burton character on my cardigan and my well-worn big black boots, he determined that I was much more of a “freak” than he’d initially thought and asked why my nails weren’t painted black. Whatever.

So another year comes to a close. I’ve been sitting here trying to think what I’d write in a month by month synopsis like I did last year, but thankfully, things have been a bit more complex and interesting than they were last year. I wouldn’t say it’s been a perfect or particularly eventful year, but I see 2004 as a sort of turning point for me, and I’m actually feeling like things are changing and looking up. It feels…promising.

I’ve reconnected with many old friends that I didn’t see or speak to as often as I ought to have. I’ve missed them. The history and the shared years and experiences make a sort of home of these people, and I feel more myself when I’m with them. I regret how much time I missed, but I know I won’t be so ready to let go of them again.

I started dating. It’s horrific, but it’s sort of amusing in a ‘if this was happening to someone else it would be frigging hilarious’ sort of way.

I went on an amazing vacation. The most amazing part is that I actually went. I always talk about things that I ‘should’ do but usually make hundreds of excuses why I can’t. This time I finally did. I didn’t panic when I was away. I was fine. This surprised me.

I’m planning on moving out of my house very soon. Before now the mere thought of it would send me into spasms of panic. I figured I would hang on to that place until I was dead, but I’m finally ready to move on. I know I’ll be very emotional when that happens, it’ll be letting go of so much more than a house to me, but I’m looking forward to it.

I’m planning on going to graduate school, and I’ve actually DONE something about it rather than talk about it and take no action whatsoever. I’m not really sure that the path I’ll be taking is really the one that I want to take, but I figure I might as well take a stroll this time instead of sitting on my ass and deciding that, since I’m not sure, I may as well do nothing.

I’ve worked a part time job, quit that job, and returned. In that time I’ve actually connected with a few people there, something that I didn’t expect with my whole “I’m just here to make money and get the hell out of here” attitude. I hate it, but it’s done some good things for me.

I didn’t accomplish a whole lot this year, but I still feel like I’m in a much better place. Sure, I still whine about things, but things are good. I think I’m, *gasp*, pretty happy. I have great friends, a family that I’ve gotten along with this year better than ever, and two of the most wonderful dogs in the world. I can pay my bills. These are novelties.

So tonight, after I work another bitch of a long day, I plan on trying to meet up with some of the friends that I love so much and ring in a new year. And tomorrow, when I’m stuck at the damn serving job again, I’ll just take solace in the fact that I won’t be working there for very much longer. Sunday I will go to dinner with my family and be thankful that they’re all still there. Happy New Year.