Monday

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"It takes two to know one." - Gregory Bateson
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Last night, somehow, I did not put my wrist brace on. I do not know what I was thinking other than let me see if I can get through the night without it. Well I cannot. I woke up in the middle of the night with my left hand fingers all numb and achy feeling. I have learned something here: just like my bite guard, I cannot go without my wrist brace. Ignore either of them and my body will wake me up to take care of what I chose to disregard. One must learn from these lessons.
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I did not wake up well this morning. I had a night of anxiety dreams. Boy I hate those dreams. Different stories but the same theme: trying to find something I remember having; trying to find someone; trying to stay away from someone; trying to get out of a building; and all things related to work and not being good enough. I wake myself up and tell myself that I am not going back to that dream because it is not good for me. Then another pops up with a different set of characters but a similar theme.

On these mornings I am depressed and full of anxiety. This is when I have to take medication to calm and relax myself. This is the thing of which I must accept, it is what it is, and to move gently through the day. Amen to that.
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I have also noticed that I have developed a new little tick, instead of chewing my finger nails off to the quick; I am now scratching my head. Now I have sore spots on my scalp and scabs. Michael is watching me now that I have alerted him to this new thing and whenever he sees my hand approaching my head, he says something to me. Well, at least I still have my finger nails.
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In reading in my art book listed below, I read a page on Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, 1844-1900. It says that Nietzsche was influenced by a guy named Schopenhaurer. I don't know anything about this Schopenhaurer and will have to do some research. What caught my attention was Schopenhaurer was a pessimist and Nietzsche followed this path.

Why would someone become pessimistic just because someone else was? Granted, I don't feel up every day but I would not want anyone else to be influenced by how I was feeling or thinking.

Besides, I didn't know that Nietzsche was an artist (more research in store). I thought he was a writer. Shows what I don't know.

All I know is that if I am down, I do not hang around with people who are down. I do not always hang out with folks who are up either but I do not attempt to stay in the doom and gloom.

I would be interested in what, you my readers, may think about this. Like I wrote above I will need to do some research on these two.

Okay, I found this site. It is quite a lengthy article but this says Nietzsche was a philosopher.

This statement sets out for me Nietzsche's life purpose:

"Central to his philosophy is the idea of "life-affirmation," which involves an honest questioning of all doctrines that drain life's expansive energies, however socially prevalent those views might be."

How can he be a pessimist when his philosophy is based on life-affirmation?

This site has lots of background information about Nietzsche and I feel is very informative. For today it is too much in depth for me to absorb so I will come back another day and read more.

As to Schopenhaurer, here is what I found at this site which is generated by the same school for which I found Nietzsche.

My desire is to find sites that really give an in depth look at an author and granted some of my links have been to Wikipedia but these last two sites are from Stanford University here in California.

Back to Schopenhaurer, from what I gather in this reading (skimming as it is a long piece) is he is a philosopher. No where did I find that he ever did art. He was not considered an artist though he did write about how art affects us as a whole.

So, neither of these guys were artists so why is the one listed in an art book? I can see I am going to have to read these articles in their entirety and maybe do more investigation.
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You may ask yourself, with is mz. em off on a tangent here. One, I want to know and two, I have read that if you keep your mind active and learn new things, these activities help offset senior dementia. I do hope this is true. Plus, I feel that what I learn as I delve into these subjects may make me a good conversationalist.
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Besides not waking up well, I am also exasperated with a certain maintenance man. We have been waiting for over a year since January to get our oven thermostat repaired. For those of you, who bake know how important the right temperature is. We have to fiddle and fiddle with the thermostat before we finally get the required heat. It is long past 5 p.m. and no maintenance man. Grrr. Michael advised me that I should have requested a call back for status. So, one of us will have to hang out tomorrow while the other one goes to the food bank.
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As to yesterday's oops about my book page. Somehow I lost my 2011 listing of books I have read. I am recreating by the month and with links to Barnes & Noble for those of you who wish to check the synopsis. I forgot to change January to February and so you received two notices for January 2011.
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Well, I am off to watch Smash on NBC. As Michael would say, "just a night time soap opera."

mz. em

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Currently reading:
-- "Spider Bones" - Kathy Reichs
-- "Living, Loving & Learning" - Leo Buscaglia, Ph.D.
-- "The Daily Book of Art/356 readings that teach, inspire & entertain" - day 147
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