Words-of-MineThe day to day reflections of one who lives in paradise with the man of her dreams and a cat who is totally awesome.
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2012-06-21 11:41 PM
Happy Birthday to Me
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"We ought to hear at least one little song every day, read a good poem, see a first-rate painting, and if possible speak a few sensible words." - Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
No, today isn't my belly-button birthday; it is my Al-Anon birthday. Twenty-three years ago on this date, I walked into my first meeting.
It took me a year to get to this place. It all began with me fussing over a boyfriend's alcohol and drug use. It was bad enough that I took myself off his motorcycle because I feared for my safety.
My search began in the Yellow Pages. I found the numbers and I sat on that for awhile. Months went by when I finally had the courage to call the numbers and get the information of where meetings were held. More time passed. I am deeper in pain over my home situation.
Stress was my constant companion. I began to drive by where the meetings were being held. I did this several times.
Courage pushed me on and I could then drive into the parking lot. Only I wasn't there yet because I would drive on through back to the street. I did this several times too. I don't know what was holding me back, I hurt bad enough.
Next came with me driving into the parking lot and parking but I couldn't get out of the car. This was my action for months. Finally, I had the courage to go through the door. For the next three months all I did was cry. I felt something though, a glimmer of hope. Of course, like all newcomers, I thought I would be told how to get the alcoholic to stop drinking but that was not to be. This was a program for me.
When I had the nerve to tell the boyfriend I was attending Al-Anon, his response: "I don't have a problem with drinking!" I said, "That's right but I have a problem with your drinking."
Thus began my road to recapturing and learning about myself.
I'm doing well this week; I have meditated every morning this week. Today's sitting was the best of all the days, very little discomfort. It is easier to focus on mindfulness when I am not fighting my body.
When I come out, Bailey is waiting for me. He is so cute.
I love my new glasses. Everything I view is so crisp. I am finding I am leaving my glasses on more often than I did with the old glasses. It is amazing what a difference a year makes.
Weather-wise the morning dawned gray but by noontime it is all warm and sunny. I love days like this.
Okay, I am pretty irritated, irritated at myself mostly. I was pulled in by a "get something for free" ad. The one thing I've learned this time, nothing is for free!
Case in point, I could try out this mineral-type make-up. No it wasn't Bare Minerals which is what I thought it was. With the $1 trial and shipping and handling, I spent $8.65 all together. When I received the package and saw it wasn't Bare Minerals I went to check out whether I keep the stuff or have to return it. There were two options:
1. Pay $35 to keep the product; or
2. Pay postage and insurance to return the product.
Man, I'm screwed either way but I decided I would return the make-up since it wasn't what I thought it was. I will find out later today just how expensive this "free" adventure has been.
Since the day was so nice, I decided I would walk to do my errands. Michael asked me what I was doing. I told him and I got the roll of the eyes. My mind clicked on and I said that I wouldn't mind being driven around if he was up for it.
He said he could be since all he needed to do was change clothes. Ha, this is one way to get him out of the house. Like me, Michael has the occasional bout of agoraphobia. Since I don't ask him to come in with me, he is happy to sit in the safety of the truck. Off we go up-town.
First stop is the library to return my finished book. I have a new one already begun.
Second stop is the post office to return the make-up. Yup, it is not cheap but cheaper than paying $35 - For the postage and insurance it is $6.40. While I was on-line, I had to get a return number and make sure it was on the box as well. They sure don't make it easy for me.
Last stop is the pharmacy to pick up some scripts. Then we call it a day. It was good to be out and about and in each other's company and it is good to be back home again.
I forgot to write about it on Tuesday but our neighbor across the way who had been in the hospital and I had been cat sitting came home from the hospital. Between me and Mrs. T we have been keeping an eye on her and making sure she was eating something during the day. I noticed today that she looked like she felt better. I hope she continues to improve.
All-in-all, it was a very good day.
-- "House Magic - The Good Witch's Guide to Bringing Grace to Your Space" - Ariana
-- "The Crimson Petal and the White" - Michel Faber
"I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again." - William Penn, English entrepreneur and philosopher
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