My brother Jed recently wrote eloquently on the topic of “how to interact with me,” and mentioned that he generally doesn’t play “misery poker,” which is a fine phrase and an even better activity from which to abstain. I will try not to play, considering there are probably about 5 billion people out there who could “beat” me. E.g., “I’ll see your two dead parents and raise you a homicidal neighbor and an exploding septic tank.” Then another player chimes in: “I’ll see all that, and raise you a famine, a genocide, and a burned-down village.” Uncle.

Jed actually makes a separate but very important point…that his pain is not invalidated by someone else’s worse pain, nor should Jed’s pain make any of his friends feel guilty about being upset about less significant problems.

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A few days ago, Holly and I watched our wedding video, searching for some footage of Peter for a project I’m working on. The video was bittersweet…it was striking for the number of people close to us who died before they turned 70…besides Peter, two extremely close friends of Holly’s family, named Barb and Carol, both passed away recently. And of course, although he didn’t fit into the “under 70” category, Peter’s father George, who said some very nice things on the video, passed away a few years ago.

Especially wrenching for me was Peter’s video’s message to us, which I had literally never seen before because I had never watched our wedding video all the way through. Peter of course led with his joke, “You can call him Jay, and you can call him Joaquin, but you can’t call him Jay Walking because he doesn’t cut corners,” and then went on to say something that was very touching.

The project I’m working on is a revised photo montage of Peter’s life on DVD, set to music. Many of you have seen the first edition, but I’d be happy to send a copy of the revised edition (when it’s done in about a week), to whoever wants one. Please let me know if you want one, either though an e-mail, or just put a comment on this journal entry. But no pressure to take one…I suspect that it’s something that primarily family will even want.