In the fine tradition started my brother, here is a customer service rant:

I have been a long-time user of a Chase credit card, Southwest Airlines affinity.

When in Mexico recently, I tried to charge a purchase at Wal-Mart and it was denied. Fair enough--it is not a place where gringos usually shop and perhaps the computer decided that my card may have been stolen but not yet reported as stolen.

Back in the states, we had dinner with friends and split the check. Credit card denied! Embarrassing to say the least.

I called Chase and they said they had no idea why charges were being denied but would make sure the next charge was not denied. They confirmed that my account was in good standing, etc. Next day, at a gas station: Charges denied! And I had to suffer the embarrassment of handing the card to an attendant who said, "The credit card company is denying your charge." The people behind me in line saw this exchange and I started to say something about Mexico to the attendant and then realized that he has heard it all 1000 times before.

I just called Chase again, this time to cancel my card. Previously when I have cancelled credit cards, it takes two or three layers of people, all bending over backwards to try to keep me as a customer. At the very least, they almost always ask, "Why?" Tonight, the nice lady from Chase didn't even ask why. Silly me, when she asked if there was anything else, I wanted to tell my tale of woe so much that I said, "I am surprised that you haven't asked why I am closing the account."

She must have thought I was a wingnut and asked, in the same tone you use to respond to a knock-knock joke, "So, Mr. Hartman, why ARE you closing your account?" She listened politely to my tale, which I told cordially, since what happened wasn't her fault. When I was done, she said, "Anything else I can do for you?"

"No," I said, "Happy New Year."

"Have a great year," she said.

In business school, we learned about "firing" your least profitable, most time-consuming customers. I feel like Chase tried to "fire" me, but for no apparent reason...I spend money on the card every month, pay it off on time every month, and rarely called customer service--maybe one time per year, until the last three days. So, Chase, you can't fire me, because I just quit!