~The Lazy Lover~

There once was a lazy lover who went to a strip club and brought home a stripper, he then told her to take off all her clothes, so she did then he told her to take off all of his clothes, so she did and when she saw his dick she gasped, for it was only 2inches long. but then he said
"Oh don't worry, I can make it grow, watch."He said. then he clapped his hands and his dick grew 2 inches. so he clapped his hands until it was 14 inches long.
"Oh thats too big"Said the stripper.so the guy snapped his fingers and it shrunk to 10inches.
"Oh thats good,so are you going to do anything to me?"she asked
"Yeah, get on the bed."He said, so she did and he got on top of her and went clap, clap,snap, snap, clap, snap ,clap

~The End

one day a man fron another country decided he wanted to learn to sing,
so he goes out of his house ,first he says ME ME ME ME,then goes to
the candy store ,then says LOLLIPOP, LOLLIPOP OH MY
LOLLIPOP. then he goes into the siverware store and says FORKS
AND KNIVES, FORKS AND KNIVES. then he goes to walmart and
says PLUG IT IN, PLUG IT IN.

so then hes walking home and there is a dead man on the side of the
road and the police officer says "who killed this man?" and the guy
says ME ME ME ME, and the officer says "why?" he says cause he
stole my LOLLIPOP, LOLLIPOP OH MY LOLLIPOP.then the
officer "says what did you kill him with"then the man says FORKS AND
KNIVES, FORKS AND KNIVES then the officer says "alright mister
time for the electirc chair"then he says PLUG IT IN, PLUG IT IN!!!

BLONDE SALON

Once there was a blonde, redhead, and a green haired girl so they all go
to a salon and as soon as they come in a guy says to the blonde "how
do you get your hair like that " the blonde says "it`s natural" while
stroking her hair out of her face then the guy walks up to the redhead
and says the same thing "how do you get your hair like that" the
redhead says "it`s natural" while stroking her hair out of her face .
And then the guy walks up to the green haired girl and says " how do
you get your hair like that" and while starting at her nose she says "it`s
natural " while wiping her boogers into her hair !

When You At WAL*MART

ATTAION WAL*MART SHOPERS!

1. Get boxes of adult diapers & randomly put them in peoples' carts
when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think
we have a code blue in house wares," and see what happens.
5. Put some M&M's on lay away.
6. Move CAUTION WET FLOOR signs to carpet areas.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you'll only invite
them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and
ask, "Why won't you people leave me alone."
9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you
pick your nose.
10. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission
Impossible.'
11. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he
knows where the anti-depressants are.
12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different
size funnels.
13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through
whisper "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the
fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go to the fitting room and yell real loud....."Hey we're out of toilet
paper in here!"