The plague is spreading. The freakish, mutant rat-dogs previously inhabiting handbags all over L.A. have now begun infesting – can you guess? – bicycles. And perhaps more disturbing, the previously solitary creatures are now beginning to organize into packs. Bicycle riding packs of mutant rat-dogs.

The first sighting occurred in West Los Angeles where a clearly serious bike rider – helmet, butt-pad shorts, titanium bike costing more than your car – had fitted a dog-carrying contraption near the back wheel. The dog buckets were on either side, a bull dog-looking creature to the right and two Chihuahuas to the left. Unfortunately, even in groups, Chihuahuas weigh approximately two ounces whereas bull dog butts are made of lead buckshot. NASA physicists have confirmed that this along with phases of the moon, tidal pull and string theory caused the bike to list to the right and sway wildly from side to side with each round of peddling.

Anyone want to guess what happens when you stuff three dogs full of puppy chow and then rock them violently from side to side?

Projectile puppy puke, ladies and gentlemen.