Woman vs. hairbrush: Round one
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Some people wear through socks like you wouldn’t believe. Or car tires or jeans or shoes. Me? Hairbrushes.
The last one broke a month ago. It had given me a good three years or so, which is acceptable but not necessarily great. I remember my mother having a robin’s egg blue hairbrush from about 1962 that she was still using well into my junior high days. But they don’t make them like they used to. So when the handle came loose from the barrel of my round brush, I pitched the two pieces in the trash and bought a new one.
Now I’m not particularly cheap about my hairbrushes. I didn’t buy it at the grocery story, and it didn’t come free with an economy-sized deodorant. I went to an actual beauty supply shop, inspected an entire isle of every possible size and bristle composition known to man, picked a mid-range model and plunked down my fifteen bucks.
If history teaches us anything, that should’ve been about 5 bucks a year, roughly 1.4 pennies a day. Approximately the life span of your garden variety mouse. (Yes, I looked it up.)
How long did it actually last? Three weeks and three days. THREE WEEKS AND THREE DAYS! (Yes, I counted.)
And what happened? The freakin’ handle came loose from the barrel!
Okay, let’s clear a few things up. I don’t have a ton of hair. I recently cut the darn stuff, for cripe’s sake. It’s not coarse or curly or in any other way difficult to comb. I don’t use the brush to pick out the coats of mountain goats or scrub oil stains off of driveways. And there is no way I’m paying another fifteen dollars for another hairbrush.
So I traipsed into the kitchen, pulled the super glue out of the junk drawer and seriously exceed the manufacturers recommended application. The glue has dried, and now we come to the most serious of questions. What happens to that much super glue when it gets really hot for about ten minutes under a blowdryer? I figure there are three possibilities:
1) Nothing happens. I have thwarted the hairbrush gods. Victory is mine!
2) The heat releases the super glue bond, and I’m back where I started.
3) The heat causes the super glue to liquify, leak out of the crack between the barrel and the handle and spread throughout my hair, which immediately and irreversibly hardens into something resembling a chia pet gone terribly wrong.
Begin the betting pools amongst yourselves. I’ll let you know how it goes.
The last one broke a month ago. It had given me a good three years or so, which is acceptable but not necessarily great. I remember my mother having a robin’s egg blue hairbrush from about 1962 that she was still using well into my junior high days. But they don’t make them like they used to. So when the handle came loose from the barrel of my round brush, I pitched the two pieces in the trash and bought a new one.
Now I’m not particularly cheap about my hairbrushes. I didn’t buy it at the grocery story, and it didn’t come free with an economy-sized deodorant. I went to an actual beauty supply shop, inspected an entire isle of every possible size and bristle composition known to man, picked a mid-range model and plunked down my fifteen bucks.
If history teaches us anything, that should’ve been about 5 bucks a year, roughly 1.4 pennies a day. Approximately the life span of your garden variety mouse. (Yes, I looked it up.)
How long did it actually last? Three weeks and three days. THREE WEEKS AND THREE DAYS! (Yes, I counted.)
And what happened? The freakin’ handle came loose from the barrel!
Okay, let’s clear a few things up. I don’t have a ton of hair. I recently cut the darn stuff, for cripe’s sake. It’s not coarse or curly or in any other way difficult to comb. I don’t use the brush to pick out the coats of mountain goats or scrub oil stains off of driveways. And there is no way I’m paying another fifteen dollars for another hairbrush.
So I traipsed into the kitchen, pulled the super glue out of the junk drawer and seriously exceed the manufacturers recommended application. The glue has dried, and now we come to the most serious of questions. What happens to that much super glue when it gets really hot for about ten minutes under a blowdryer? I figure there are three possibilities:
1) Nothing happens. I have thwarted the hairbrush gods. Victory is mine!
2) The heat releases the super glue bond, and I’m back where I started.
3) The heat causes the super glue to liquify, leak out of the crack between the barrel and the handle and spread throughout my hair, which immediately and irreversibly hardens into something resembling a chia pet gone terribly wrong.
Begin the betting pools amongst yourselves. I’ll let you know how it goes.
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