We have, what I believe to be, irrefutable proof that the court system is, in fact, spying on potential jurors. The reasons are not clear but are likely to be related to boredom and a sick sense of humor.

Two years ago while living in the great state of Texas, I was called for the first time to jury duty...called TWO DAYS before moving to California. Yesterday, I get my second-ever jury summons. I’ve been ordered to appear in Superior Court on the day my entire family flies in from Missouri to visit me over my birthday. ON THE DAY. So I call the friendly jury people to plead my case. I can get a postponement, I learn. Only one. And if I take it, I would then be required to appear on...wait for it...wait...wait...MY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!

It is not possible this is a coincidence. The law of averages does not allow for it. I am clearly being watched.