Birthday presents probably should be a surprise, I know. Somebody from on-high declared it so. The thing is, I don’t really like surprises. So I’m happy to work with my husband as he goes about picking out gifts.

(He loves this, by the way. Really. He’d rather shove lit matches in his eyes than go shopping for a birthday gift. So this is just a little piece of heaven for him, even if he’s still required to wrap it.)

So, despite my birthday being several weeks away, I am well informed and anxiously awaiting the forthcoming unwrapping of my brand new ipod shuffle. I am practically giddy with anticipation. My days of utter silence and monotony as I pound out the miles on the treadmill are nearly over. Think of the music! I say to myself. Think of the download-able NPR programs! Just imagine how quickly your runs will whiz by as you listen to world news, stock reports and a feature on goat cheese!

(Hey, I like goat cheese features. You have your downloads your way, I’ll have them mine.)

And then, the hammer fell. I went to the NPR site today to investigate the process for my upcoming downloads. (I like to check these things out early. It relates to the whole no-surprise thing.) And the site informs me that downloading to my COMPATIBLE mp3 player will cost me about four bucks a month. I shrug. That doesn’t seem unreasonable for all the goat cheese features I can listen to. So I click on the link – thinking it a formality – that lists the compatible players.

“Mother f-er!”

How can this be? How can ipods not be on the list? Say what you want about conformity, peer pressure and the over-branding of society, ipods are still THE mp3 player. Everybody’s got one. You can’t possibly have downloads not be supported by ipod, can you?! CAN YOU?!

Yes, apparently, you can. And NPR has done it. They have done it, and they have crushed my spirit. My dreams of goat cheese-filled runs are dissipating like so much smoke on a windy day.

I may never get over this.