I just heard last week that a short story of mine has been selected to appear in the book “LAndmarked for Murder” under my pen name A.H. Ream. The book is an anthology of short mysteries all set in and around L.A. area landmarks. (“LA”ndmarked....get it?)

The thing about getting great news like this is that it always comes when you’re sitting at home, alone in your underwear eating processed cheese slices out of the little cellophane wrappers. So after you’ve called everyone you know – and perhaps a few random people out of the phone book, too – you’re still standing around your living room with processed cheese in your teeth, an enormous endorphin rush and not a darn thing to do with it.

You’re ready to lead a parade or do a drum solo on stage at Madison Square Garden, but your actual life hasn't caught up yet. First of all, you’re still in your underwear and you need to pick up all those cellophane wrappers.

Clearly homes need to come with a system to deal with this – kinda like sprinklers. There would be an emergency good news button. Confetti would rain down, music would play, maybe some balloons. A little ambience befitting your new lot in life.

As it was, I had to get dressed and go to my swim lesson, where I believe I have contracted swimmer’s ear. Now if that isn’t God having a little fun, I don’t know what is.

As the editing progresses and a publication date emerges, I’ll be sure to post it. In the meantime, ear drops...