Reading writing blogs these days and trying to avoid the topic of “chick lit: friend or foe” is like eating french fries and trying to avoid cholesterol.

Everyone has an opinion. And it’s not just the blogs. Stories are popping up all over traditional media, too. Vicious arguments are breaking out. Nasty names are being flung. Everybody seems, at best, slightly peeved at someone else.

And somewhere along the way somebody always compares it to crime fiction. It’s the Mars vs. Venus, Men vs. Women thing with chick-lit standing in for the ladies and mysteries/thrillers for the men. The argument being they both play to their assigned gender’s fantasies and therefore have limited literary merit. This is usually followed up by the complaint that, the two genres proven equal, the men are getting more respect and more money, and the carousel of gender inequality thus keeps turning.

And furthermore, the argument continues, mysteries when written by women, particularly those called “cozies,” are equally maligned, disparaged, underappreciated and under paid. Another stone thrown in the gender wars.

Is this true?

Heck, I don’t know. I can name a few romance/chick-lit/cozy authors that could buy and sell most serious crime fiction writers a dozen times over. And the other way around, too.

The truth is, as a reader, I buy what I like. And the do-pink-covers-hurt-our-credibility, are-there-two-many-pictures-of-shoes-on-covers debates have nothing to do with what I plunk down my money for. I have every single Stephanie Plum book (written by a former romance writer for goodness sakes and just full of hair and makeup scenes), and I keep them next to the bloodiest serial killer thrillers you could ever want.

As a writer, the debate concerns me more. I write pretty hard core stuff, but I’m still a woman and inclined to stand by the sisterhood. I don’t want to be underpaid or disrespected. But the truth is, there’s very little I can do about it. I write what I write. The violence comes naturally, what can I say?

So where does that leave me in the debate? Some on the ol’ blogs have suggested that “serious” female mystery writers sometimes throw in extra violence and gore to up their credibility. A charge that reminds me of one junior high girl accusing another of stuffing her bra. “Those aren’t yours! Quit pretending!”

Except they are mine, and I’m left feeling I don’t fit on either side. But then again, how many authors truly do fit perfectly on one side or the other? A good number for sure. But there are an awful lot who don’t either. And do all those ones that don’t, prove the two-sided argument itself is misguided?

Dang if I know. And right now, I’ve got a novel to finish, so I suppose they’re going to have to fight this one out without me. Feel free, as always, to debate it yourselves in the comments.