Somebody released a six-foot alligator into a recreational lake near L.A. that has eluded local authorities and “specialists” from Florida and Colorado for two weeks.

(The gator eluded, not the lake. Presumably the lake is remaining stationary.)

Kiddies play in that lake. And you really, really shouldn’t put six-foot alligators in a lake with small children...even if you don’t happen to like those particular children.

Here’s another thing you shouldn’t do: Care for said gator while blitzed out of your gourd and nursing a major case of the munchies.

While the alligator remains on the lam, two men have been arrested – presumably not by the gator wranglers but actual police officers – on suspicion of releasing the gator. At the homes of the two men, authorities found a combined two snapping turtles, three smaller gators, four piranhas, one rattlesnake, three desert tortoises, one scorpion and...Danny Partridge in a pear tree. Okay, not Danny Partridge but plenty of pot.

Because being inebriated is key when caring for pets that might kill you.

Kind of puts that kitty litter box in perspective, doesn’t it?