Are you ever alone in your apartment, and you hear a noise? Like an ax-murder-breaking-down-your-door-coming-to-hack-you-into-little-pieces kind of a noise? So you grab the nearest weapon – like your husband’s shoe – and leap out into the hallway to confront the intruder – while wearing your coffee cup jammies. Only to discover the noise was your neighbor’s Chihuahua who just got back from the vet for a little tummy tuck and is scrapping his head cone against the wall, making you the ass in the hallway in your jammies with a shoe.

Don’t you hate that?