After the post on writers auctioning off character names, loyal blog reader Susan R. sent me an article from the New York Times about television writers working with companies to place whole storylines around a product. Whole television shows bought and paid for by advertisers, molded by them to fit their company’s image and sold to you as entertainment.

I think I need to lie down.

Now I have little problem with writers wanting to use a product in a storyline. Seinfield wanted to drop a Junior Mint into a patient during surgery. They went and asked the Junior Mint people, “If we do this with your product, will you sue us?” I have no quarrel here. It’s writer driven, character driven, show driven. ER wanted to us a particular car in an episode. Fine.

But when a car company comes to The West Wing and hands them story ideas already written around their product – The West Wing sent them packing – that’s when my hair starts falling out. The West Wing can afford to say no. But, as the article points out, what of start-up shows? What networks will turn down that kind of money? And as most advertisers don’t want their products anywhere near something controversial, we’re all going to end up watching Leave it to Beaver until our eyes fall out.

Then we, as writers, must ask ourselves, are books far behind?

Janet Evanovich’s characters eat TastyKakes. Now I’ve never asked, but I feel fairly sure that Janet shoves Stephanie Plum’s face full of the doughnuts because left to her own devices, that’s what Stephanie would do. And TastyKake is a funny name. Other writers have characters that drive a certain car or drink a certain soda pop. All, as far as I know, along the lines of the Seinfield Junior Mint episode. Character, plot and writer driven.

But what if Acme car company wanted a nice, shiny novel written around their new model? Go ask Stephen King, and he’d probably set you on fire. But what about Joe Doe struggling novelist? Would he do it? Would a publisher print it? Would you even need a traditional publisher? Could Acme car company afford to print and distribute it themselves? Would bookstores and readers stand for this? Would they know?

Somebody get me some smelling salts. I might need them.

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