A moment of silence, please, for the passing of the last bastion of dignity, hope and green felt.

According to the Associated Press, ABC has ordered a script for “America’s Next Muppet,” a reality show in which viewers choose the next...well, muppet.

I feel sad in my soul.

I imagine Kermit, too depressed to show up on the set, will be tracked down by the reality camera crew in some dingy bar in the middle of the afternoon. He’ll be eating peanuts, the shells all stuck to his ruff, a row of empty beer bottles in front of him, his speech slurred, his eyes unfocused, leading the other sad-sack cases in a rendition of “It Ain’t Easy Being Green.”