It turns out my very bright husband is even smarter than I originally thought. He has pioneered an entirely new technique for avoiding wife trouble. It’s a surrealist approach, really. Apparently, art school does pay off.

Here’s an example from today.

Me: “Why did you put an empty roll of tape back in the drawer?”

Husband: “I didn’t.”

Me: “Well, it wasn’t me. Is there someone else using our tape?”

Husband: “Yes. The hamster.”

(Note: We don’t have a hamster.)

Me: “The hamster?”

Husband: “Yes. He’s orange.”

This is when I walk away. It’s a very effective technique. In fact, I expect a delegation from the United Husbands Association to knock on our door and present him with his own holiday or maybe one of those fuzzy hats with the horns on them.